Home » Uncategorized » Going Out of My Mind

Going Out of My Mind

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This is the devil’s drug, and not in a good way.

I’m usually fairly even-keeled (with the exception of 8DPO, sometimes), and moody isn’t a word people would use to describe me. In fact, most colleagues have mentioned that I have a calming energy.

However….

I have been an angry monster lately. I have experienced fits of rage and bouts of sobbing within minutes of each other. It has been ugly.

I have considered calling in sick to work multiple days in the past 2 weeks because I find these emotions to be out of control and unbearable. I have been scared of what shit might spew from my mouth in these “moments”.

I have been pushed past my limits a few times this week and it has taken every ounce of my will to prevent myself from saying something or breaking something that might cause my termination of employment with my school board.

Sometimes however, I wonder if it’s really the Marvelon or if I just work with a bunch of assholes. I mean, I do share an office with 14 other mathematicians, and mathematicians stereotypically lack social skills.

Other times I wonder- is this what PMS feels like? And then suddenly it explains my mother’s behaviour my entire childhood.

Bottom line is that I can’t wait to be off this damn pill! Even if it means the beginning of endless injections.

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