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Babies Ruin Bodies

I have mixed feelings about being the non-gestational parent of our future child. I spent my entire life adamant that I never wanted to be pregnant. Horror stories recounted time and time again by my mother, seeing saggy stretch-mark plagued boobs, bellies, and hips, as well as my own body dis morphia dissuaded me from thinking that pregnancy was something I would ever want to do.

When I hit my thirties, my body changed a bit. My hips widened, I had more fat on my belly, and all of my sharp corners and edges softened a bit. I was starting to look like a thirty-year-old! My perspective on life had changed as well. I had left my career as a licensed primary health care professional and clinical instructor, and went back to school to be a high school teacher. Many people were shocked by my decision, but when I explained using one word, they understood. That word was happiness. I was miserable as a doctor, and didn’t want to waste the rest of my life continuing to live that way. I wanted to enjoy my work, but also make room for a family. This is when we knew we were ready to start talking about having a family.

To be continued in another post….

My original purpose for this post was actually to share this: http://weseekjoy.blogspot.ca/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html?m=1

As my perspective changed, I started to realize how beautiful the changing pregnant and post-partum body was. Reading the above post highlighted how lucky DW and I are to be able to do a reciprocal IVF. Her connection with our children will be deeply rooted in her own body, and mine will be in reflections of myself and my family in them. Each of us receives a gift from these babies.


7 thoughts on “Babies Ruin Bodies

  1. I’ve heard a lot of couples are happy with that arrangement, one genetic mother, the other being the gestational mother. For my wife and I, that wouldn’t work. She neither wants to be pregnant nor does she want to pass on her genes (she has two first degree relatives with Bipolar type I and other fun genetic conditions).

  2. I love what you two are doing. I think it’s many lesbian couples’ dream to do it that way, just not everyone has the $ to do it. What a beautiful thing to do!

    I have some ambivalence about my body. It’s got some extra pounds, some stretch marks and some saggy boobs now, thanks to nursing. But it has carried and delivered 3 amazing girls. So I can’t beat it up too much.

    • I think mom bodies are so beautiful and sexy. The history of where it’s been and who it has carried also adds another layer of beautiful. It makes me sad to think that my body won’t have a chance to experience the journey of pregnancy, but I am excited to have the chance to see it close up with DW.

  3. I am one of the most self conscious people when it comes to my body, but being pregnant was the best time of my life. After gaining almost 50% of my body weight with the twins (I went from 115-175lbs) my stomach got mangled but you know what I am so proud of it and myself. I even put my pictures on my website to show others that its okay, we are tigers who have earned their stripes. I can sympathize that in your situation it must be difficult to decide who gets to carry the baby. In the end, pregnancy is just teensy part of being a parent and you will love your kids and they will love you just as much. I look forward to reading the rest.

      • Thanks! Just hearing someone say they love my blog means a lot to me. Half I the time I wonder why I even do it because I feel like it’s stupid. I really do enjoy reading your blog as well. I follow a lot of blogs but it always seems to be your posts that stand out to me. Cheers 🙂

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