Home » FET #3 » Updated Plans

Updated Plans

So I’ve got a bunch to update you on. We had a review appointment on Wednesday with the RE, to discuss DW’s two recent miscarriages.

The RE really didn’t have much to say. I brought all of my questions, typed into notepad on my iPhone, and we went through them all. He has no answers for why DW didn’t stay pregnant. He did say that it was unusual given our excellent conditions.

The embryos or the uterus, who is the culprit?

He looked at the embryologist’s notes on our 5-day-blasts, and they are excellent quality, and all survived the thaw, which is also an indication of quality. He said that genetic or chromosomal issues are weeded out very quickly in these early phases, and that since I’m young, the quality of the eggs is unlikely to be the problem. But of course, not all eggs were meant to become live births.

He suggested two possible next steps:

1. Aggressively investigating into DW’s immune system and uterine health through more blood tests (one of which costs $600, and can only be analysed in the States), and a hysteroscopy to visualize uterine abnormalities. If her immune system is found to be overactive (essentially attacking the embryo like it is a parasite), then a combination of immunosuppressant therapy (intralipids) might happen so that she could still carry. A colleague of mine has gone through this treatment (with the same clinic), 3 times I believe, and it didn’t work. If it’s polyps/fibroids or some scar tissue, we could probably have them surgically removed (my guess).

2. I carry.

Obviously, option 2 makes more logical sense at this point, given the circumstances. However, there is also the factor of DW’s feeling physically connected to these future babies, which is the whole reason for us going down the path of IVF in the first place.

So, we decided on both paths, concurrently. We will do the investigations and see if DW maybe has some polyps/fibroids/scar tissue/uterine abnormalities or too many natural killer cells or other immune issue, and we will get me ready for an FET at the same time.

Some of the ducks are already in a row, and some of them the clinic has taken out of the rotation so that we have to put them back. It is really frustrating because I’m sure that it’s just a money grab on their part.

For example, my endocrinologist called yesterday to tell me that my thyroid levels are right on target (so no adjustment needed). Yay! She basically gave me the green light to giv’r this cycle. Also, my period just started on Thursday, so I could’ve started on the estrace today.

But instead, the clinic wanted to repeat their big ass blood screening panel to test for everything under the sun (that they had done in May 2013 and January 2014), as well as another sonohysterogram.

Yes, I bolded that. Another SONOHYSTEROGRAM. I think it’s completely unnecessary because I had one done last year, and nothing has changed. I also think it’s unnecessary because he was just up in there in January during my egg retrieval, and the main reason for it is to check the patency of the Fallopian tubes, which isn’t even involved in an FET. Plus, it’s another hundred dollar cost out of pocket for us.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll remember that the sonohysterogram was extremely painful for me. I bled substantially on the paper sheet that covers the medical table, as well as in my underpants on the drive home. They said that it shouldn’t hurt and that I could return to work that day, but despite taking Tylenol before the procedure, I ended up sitting in the car crying from my angry cervix pain and uterine cramps, wishing that DW could drive me home.

I still get nightmares about that sono.

From now on, I shall refer to it as the sononightmarogram.

Anyway, since they insist on repeating this damn sono (booked for the 20th), we can’t do the FET this cycle.

So I guess I’ll continue to play ball hockey twice a week and party like a rockstar during World Pride, at the end of the month.

Meh. I’d rather be trying to have a baby….

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13 thoughts on “Updated Plans

  1. Well, I wanted to just give you some words of encouragement as far as the ‘physically bonded’ worries that your wife may have. I know, everyone is different, but I wanted to just share that while Miss Punky is all me, eggs and carrying and she came out like a clone of me in looks – she is by far more bonded and attached to Kim. She’s also taken on more of Kim’s personality than I ever could have given her. At any rate, I hope you guys get things figured out and perhaps next month if the month for you!! πŸ™‚

      • To bond just as well if not better with non-gestational parents. I just need to give DW time to sort out her emotions. I think it’s more about the experience of being pregnant and celebrated and fussed about that appeals to her. Her parents have always favoured her brother in pretty much every way, and I think she thinks it’s the only way that she can have a piece of that. I dunno. It’s all very confusing to me, as the pregnancy part of it appeals very little to me… Lol.

  2. That sucks about the hydronightmarogram. Why do they order tests you don’t need? I’m glad you and your wife have a plan and I will be here cheering you on. I hope you find some solutions. I hear you on the not-so-interested-in-partying thing! Have fun though, might as well enjoy it while you can.

    • Thanks! The clinic is notorious for forcing us to do unnecessary tests because they can charge for it, and because we’re pretty much stuck with them due to proximity to our home and work. They are also run mostly by the nurses, as there is only one doctor for 4 clinics, so they have everyone on the same protocol, and very little thought is put into our unique circumstances (not infertile).

      • It’s crazy for them to order tests they don’t need. I’ve read most of your blog post over the last year so I knew about the tests but didn’t realize there is only one doctor. I wish you could come to LA to our clinic! They’re very caring and thorough and have multiple doctors. My doctor does all of the important things like tests and procedures, and emails me back right away when I have a question. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I hope it all results in a baby though! I’m definitely cheering you on!

  3. I’m hopeful for your FET. And I just wanted to chime in about the physically bonded stuff…babies know who love them and who cares for them. I think they care not one whit who carried them in the womb. If you both breastfed (with non carrying mom inducing lactation) I bet that would make bonds even stronger!

    You can party some for me at World Pride, too. I won’t be going. Maybe I’ll visit the Family Pride section if I feel brave (I hate crowds). Have a drink for me. πŸ™‚

    • Good point! We always planned to both breast feed. We figured it was one of the advantages of having four boobs in the family! I don’t like crowds either. We are heading to the Palais Royale, which should be less crazy, and less hipster young’uns!

  4. Ugh, I’m sorry, this all sucks! Just a few thoughts/questions: Can they give you some good “twilight” drugs when you have to get the sono. again? I HATE proceedures, so I try to get some drugs whenever possible! Don’t be afraid to ask! I asked my doc when I had the HSG and she was basically like “silly girl, it won’t hurt.” Well, I pretty much wanted to kill her after that, and never trusted her again 😦 And also, I had a hysteroscope a few months ago, and they did find a bunch of polyps. (Diff. doc.) That was in January I think, and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet since, so I don’t know if that’s what caused my 3 mc’s. BUT, I was knocked out for that. I think that’s the way most docs do it, since if they find polyps, they can just go ahead and zap them off right then and there. Being knocked out is the way to go. (IMO.)

    Well, best of luck with everything! I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you both!

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