Home » FET #3 » 12 More Hours

12 More Hours

My life is anything but boring.

Over the course of one hour:

– my dad booked us flights to Vancouver
– we planned a three day sailing trip through the San Juan Islands
– I told my dad we were trying to get pregnant
– I was berated over iMessage and things like “I was damning the child to hell”, and “the child will not be raptured”, and the “rapture is coming soon” were mentioned
– I was threatened with being disowned if I tried to get pregnant
– I was disowned by my ultra-Pentecostal, fanatical father
– our flights were cancelled

And now here we are, just under 12 hours away from our embryo transfer. One day I will address my very complex relationship with my father, but not today.

I got an urgent-sounding voicemail this morning, from the embryologist at the fertility clinic. They were trying to convince me to transfer only one embryo. According to them, I am young (32), the blastocysts are of excellent quality, and they don’t think it’s necessary to transfer both because they think the chance of success will be high given my stats. I argued with them for a minute or so, and maintained that I want two thawed and transferred. I realize that there is a chance of twins, which pose their own unique risks, but I’m healthy and willing to take the extra 10% chance of having one successful live birth by putting two instead of one (60% vs. 50%). Plus, DW had two transferred during both of her FETs and none of the four ended in a live birth. Interesting that they didn’t call before hers to discuss this, even though we used my eggs.

Anyway, it’s been carbalicious around these parts. Yesterday, we drove across two cities to shop at my favourite gluten-free bake shop, Molly B’s. They have the best breads and desserts, and Friday is the best day to buy from their storefront as bread is baked that day. I bought three loaves of cheese bread and one tray of butter tarts. Her brother also owns a gluten-free business, making specialty artisan breads and pastas. I got to taste-test their Calabrese baguette, and bought one immediately because it smelled like real bread, tasted like real bread, and was chewy like real bread. His bakery is called Nate’s Bagels. His loaf was so delicious, that I pretty much demolished it in 24 hours.

DW picked some Roma and yellow pear tomatoes, basil, and garlic from our garden and I made bruschetta. We’ve basically been eating bread and bruschetta for the past four meals. Here’s a picture of Molly B’s gluten-free cheese bread, our homemade bruschetta, and some chicken breast (for good measure).

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(I’m pretty sure that the yoga I did today did not burn off sufficient calories).

Tonight, I’ll eat some pineapple, watch some Netflix, and dream about babies.

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15 thoughts on “12 More Hours

  1. Wow, I’m really sorry to hear about what happened with your dad. Did you see that coming? I always find it so perplexing when people think saying mean and nasty things will make us be like, “You know what? Thanks to you, I AM worried about the rapture. We change our minds, thanks!” It never gets anyone anywhere but further apart.

    Transferring 2 healthy embies sounds like the perfect plan. Maybe you’ll end up having a litter of kids, after all. Hopefully just not all at once. 🙂 I vote for 2!

    • I did not see that coming, though he has a history of irrational and extreme behaviour. I did not sleep last night, still reeling from the really abusive things that he said to me. But onwards! For the next 10 days, I am PUPO! Thanks for your support.

  2. Parents can be difficult. My folks know a kid is in the works. I have mentioned adoption but that was the original plan A. My mom mostly wants to be a grandma. She does believe the world is going to end any day now too. But I think she’s come to terms with the fact that she can’t change me. As much as she’d love to. I don’t know. I am thankful they live far away.

    • Yeah, I thought he’d have the same reaction- wanting to be a grandpa. But his fanaticism is so consuming that he loses all sense of reality. It’s so awful that our families can’t be as whole-heartedly happy for us.

      • I completely understand that. I’ve heard of parents learning to bite their tongues to be able to see grandchildren, but I’m not going to bet on that happening, but it’s possible.

        My parents will not be pleased when they learn that I’m going to carry the kid, and that the kid will biologically be related to them. They’re crazy conservative. They thought my uncle should pressure his mistress to put their child up for adoption “so the child could be raised in a normal family.”

        At least we turned out normal, and will do better by our children.

      • That’s interesting. You’d think that the biological connection might make them more inclined to accept the kid. My dad also said he would be more accepting if we adopted a child- that way we’re saving it rather than creating another that will be doomed to stay on earth after the rapture.

  3. What a roller coaster. Good luck with the transfer and the fallout from father-induced drama. Thank goodness you have delicious food to get you through it all?

  4. Ugh I know the feeling, I’m sorry you have to go through this. Good luck with the transfer, stay focus on that, sending all good vibes.

  5. Oh no…that’s really the last thing anyone wants to hear before a transfer. You don’t want baby/babies (fingers crossed) to feel all of that negative energy, but I’m sure you guys will be happy enough to fight off a universe of nay-sayers…Good luck with the transfer, and hoping that your dad comes around. I don’t think they realize all the amazing moments they’ll be missing…

  6. Wow, I didn’t know about your father and reading about it, I have so much compassion for you. I’m sorry your family can’t understand the beautiful relationship you and your wife have, and the amazing life that will come to be between you. I know you’re strong but I wonder how this is affecting you today, as you go into the transfer.

    I hope things are going well and look forward to hearing about the 1WW (well, one week if you’re transferring a blastocyst)! I’m sending you guys tons of positive energy!

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