Home » FET #3 » The Bleeding Begins

The Bleeding Begins

I’ve always been a fan of technology, especially when it allows us to do things like take pictures of our bloody maxi pads and text message them to our wives at work.

Yeah, I did that today.

You see, I stopped the “pregnancy” sustaining meds on Sunday, and have been off work all week waiting to get this natural miscarriage over with. On Wednesday, the spotting began, though I can barely call it spotting, as it was like one smear per day (I’m not apologizing for the TMI), and unworthy of the panty liner changes.

But today, sitting in the car, on our (me and dogs) way home from the conservation park, I could feel the twinges I distinctly recognize as my angry cervix opening it’s long and hostile mouth. Ten minutes later, it let out a loud roarrrr and bloody clots and tissue started to waterslide, landing on my panty liner.

Lovely right? Cervical sea monsters and waterslides.

It seems to come in waves though. As the waterslide is vacant at the moment. I do feel some tingling in my uterus, perhaps some cajoling of the next sliders into the queue.

I know there’s a whole lot that needs to come out of there, and worry that this is gonna take a while.

Tomorrow is the review appointment with our RE (which I nearly had to bribe someone to get). I will likely try to get an appointment for a D&C, as this waiting is killing my will to live, and I’m anxiously waiting to just move on from this already. The pregnancy symptoms (morning sickness and food/smell aversions) are downright cruel and make me feel so shitty- both physically and emotionally.

Other than that, we’re gonna take the opportunity to also ask the RE where we should go from here. I know he’ll just encourage us to do the last FET, but since we have his attention for a few minutes, I hope we get a chance to talk about his speculation on why we keep miscarrying with my eggs, as well as whether DW’s nearly 39-year-old eggs would be a good option to move forward with. My GP seems to think that DW miscarrying twice with my eggs and me miscarrying once with my eggs is still within the realm of normal, but if this guy is an “expert” on fertility, I want to get his gut feeling on this.

Anyway, Happy Friday everyone!

Wish me luck on passing these “products of conception” quickly and completely.

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20 thoughts on “The Bleeding Begins

  1. Awful, having to pass the “tissue” as my doctors called it, is horrible. I remember thinking, women go through this every day?? Having to get rid of something that meant so much to me, that would have developed into our baby, was so heartbreaking. I understand why you just want it over with so you can grieve and move on. I hope your RE can give you at least an opinion, if not answers. Thinking about you and sending a hug.

    • Thank you. It’s comforting to know women like you (and many others who comment on my blog) who have been through this as well. Your wisdom and support keeps me above the water.

  2. Only you could make me smile and laugh out loud while feeling totally awful for you! I feel you. I hope that everything is ejected from the sea monster asap so life and everything can go back to normal. Have a great weekend, no matter how gruesome it gets!

  3. Never have I heard a description so true. It’s like the final insult. Just be gentle with yourself if you can. Much love.xxxx

  4. Your description of your cervical mouth is applaud-worthy. I really hope everything slides out quickly so you can begin to heal and finally get rid of the pregnancy symptoms that are plaguing you.

    I hope the RE can give you an honest, straightforward opinion. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Just wanted you to know. ❤

  5. I just got caught up on your blog and my heart is breaking for you both. I am so sorry for you loss. I know I don’t know the right words to say (words have been been a strength of mine) but I have been thinking of you and will continue to do so. I hope your RE has some insight in his gut to share with you. I wish this whole thing was fair and everyone who so desperately wanted to get pregnant was able to easily.

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