Home » FET#4 » Gonna Look Like A Kardashian By The End Of The Month

Gonna Look Like A Kardashian By The End Of The Month

Today is cycle day 7, and I have been on 6mg of Estrace daily for 5 days now, in preparation for our upcoming FET. I have already noticed some physical changes, which I’m not super happy with:

– my eyesight has changed again. Particularly my right eye, my cornea has changed shape, and my previously perfect fitting contact lens is not fitting my eyeball well anymore. It’s causing my eyelid to do a weird double fold thing. I am also noticing that street signs are blurry again through my right eye. I was JUST at the optometrist last week!

– my boobs are ginormous again. I have been wearing the same style of sports bra for at least a year now, with very little fluctuation, except for when I was pregnant. And when I was pregnant, my boobs basically inflated to the point where my sports bras (which are normally fitted, but with room to inhale comfortably) became like chest tourniquets. I literally worried about blood flow to my arms. Yesterday, I decided to get rid of all of my bras that don’t fit (8 of them, and sadly half being expensive Lululemon ones), and went out to buy two of the style and size that are still comfortable- stupidly, without trying them on. In my defense, I had just worn this size and style last week, so I figured it would be fine. WRONG! I was excited to put on one of the new bras today, and it is tight. Wearable, but tight. I’m an average chested girl to begin with- probably about a big B, but things are well on their way to full C-land. And since I don’t have pendulous boobs, the mass just seems to swell over my pecs, like a well endowed chicken you’d buy at the grocery store. I feel like my boobs are growing towards my face, terrified that they are going to choke out my thyroid, then suffocate me in my sleep. Yes, friends, this is what nightmares are made of.

– my pants are fitting a bit snug in the thighs. Fuck you estrogen! I’m consistently on a lower carb, paleo diet, with very few cheat meals just so this doesn’t happen! I weigh my food, track all my calories on myfitnesspal, and work out hard five days a week. What. The. Hell. Again, Fuck you estrogen!

– I’ve put on 4 pounds in the past 5 days (and I had previously been consistently at the same weight since last pregnancy ended). There is no way that this is from overeating. 4 pounds is a lot, people. In 5 days too! Again, Fuck you estrogen!

In all seriousness, I know that this is part of the process, and if taking the Estrace helps to make a really nice fluffy uterine lining for our embryo to implant, then so be it. But the side effects suck. Embryos/Fetuses have no use for huge mammaries. Curvy Venus butt and thighs are only useful if you’re auditioning for a Nicki Minaj video (think Anaconda). My eyesight is necessary for survival!

I’m worried friends, that I will look like Kim Kardashian (NSFW) by the end of the month- and I don’t mean her gorgeous face or lavish riches either. Though, it would be handy to have a shelf to place things, wherever you go, right?

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17 thoughts on “Gonna Look Like A Kardashian By The End Of The Month

  1. I’m sorry for laughing. But you shouldn’t make it funny if what you’re going for is sympathy here. πŸ˜‰

    Seriously, that’s a lot of fluid retention. Are they checking your thyroid throughout this cycle? I’d be asking for that. Meanwhile, you’ve got an open invite for a hug. Try not to poke my eye out with your Kim K endowments if you please. πŸ˜‰

    • Haha. Not really looking for sympathy, though some cuddles and reassurance from my wife would do just fine. You’re right, I should check my thyroid. I have been feeling much more tired lately too, which usually means something is a bit off. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure the goods are no where near breakable objects either. Lol.

  2. Sorry all the side effects are so harsh! Absolutely none of that sounds fun – if you could at least have the Kardashian lavish riches to go along with everything then it might be worth it. Well, except the eye sight, you just need that.

  3. LOL – at least you have a good sense of humour about it all! The side effects sound dreadful. As for the badonka-donk…it’ll be extra good padding in the event you slip on winter ice and land on your bum?

  4. I hope the symptoms get more mild. In September, my luteal phase was so crazy I couldn’t wear one of my two sports bras. I hope to find out what pregnancy will do to my body someday. πŸ™‚

  5. Wow, you are so funny, I’m laughing at my desk! First of all, it’s amazing that you have so much food discipline in the first place. I try to eat similarly, but it’s hard! Also, butt and boobs are hot, go with it! Drink lots of water and remember, it’s all in the name of pregnancy!

    • Yes, food discipline is hard, but I actually really enjoy eating this way. I see it as good nourishment. I can be a bit too uptight about it though, which is something I’m working on. I exaggerated a little bit about the ass part- the asian bony ass genes are hard to overcome. Most of the volume has been noticed in the chest region, which I’m sure delights my wife!

      • Im positve it does! I love my fiance’s adorable Asian ass, by the way! I agree, I feel great when I eat low-carb, whole foods, but I also love bread and sweets πŸ™‚ Im excited for your cycle!

  6. This post is hilarious…i can totally see you standing in front of the mirror, tight sport bra, snug pj pants, and saying FML! For what it’s worth, in pregnancy you’ll gain 20+lbs, and then those 5 will seem insignificant! Here’s to “baby”fat!

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