Home » FET#4 » Happiness Cycle Days 19 & 20: Kindness

Happiness Cycle Days 19 & 20: Kindness

I’ve been thinking lately about savouring life. Taking it on your tongue and identifying each and every flavour, on its own, but also in its pairing with others. One common piece of advice that I keep receiving is be kind to yourself. I struggle so much with this, as I was raised to believe that putting yourself first was selfish. At the dinner table, you serve yourself last, and if there is nothing left for you, you are a virtuous daughter. (Funny how they never say this to sons, but that’s a rant for another day.) However, someone said something this week that changed this a bit for me. They said that if I won’t treat myself better for me, then I should do it for our future baby. This idea has been in the back of my mind all week.

There is no lack of kindness in my life.



I have been busy the past two days, going to appointments and running errands, in preparation for our FET tomorrow.

– chiropractic adjustments to reduce any nerve interference to my uterus, and to reduce my stress response

– massage therapy to get rid of some chronic muscle tension and stress that I’m still holding in my body, and for relaxation

– acupuncture and herbs to warm my uterus, strengthen kidney and spleen meridians, and charge up my yin reserves

– one last heavy workout (squats, deadlifts, shoulders) and yoga class before I commit to at least three weeks of no lifting, no sprinting, and no yoga twisting

I have been a lot more open with people around me about this FET, and have been met with so much support.

I battled through rush hour traffic on the way home from downtown, which took me only 20 minutes on the way in, but an hour and 45 minutes on the way out.

When I got home, there was a mysterious package on my doorstep. I love getting mail, but wasn’t expecting anything other than a long-overdue book from Amazon, which was suppose to arrive two weeks ago. But this package was bigger.

I settled into the house, fed the dogs, and then opened the box:


A care package from the amazing and thoughtful Mrs. MPB, who has been a wonderful support for me ever since I found her blog. These books will be part of my two-week-wait (really 10 day) survival kit.

I can almost taste tomorrow, it’s so close. Little Spark, your mamas are waiting for you, and there is an entourage of people cheering for your arrival, all of whom can’t wait for you to come home.

6 thoughts on “Happiness Cycle Days 19 & 20: Kindness

  1. Over the last few years we have heard from virtually every medical professionals we’ve talked to that we should be “kind to ourselves” (I’ve decided this must be what they teach resident doctors to say to people like us). It’s a foreign concept to me as well. Since I stopped working full time, I’ve worked really hard on being kind to myself. I still suck at it most of the time, but at least I’m trying. πŸ™‚
    And, I am thrilled that the package arrived just in time to for your two week wait! I hope they provide you with a good distraction and that you enjoy them.

    • I find it difficult to hear it from doctors, as it really does sound like a line that was taught as a means of conveying condolence. It takes on different meanings depending on who says them, but I guess that’s my own assumptions in play. So much of it is tied to my upbringing, being the “good daughter” (Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan style), which is so hard to undo. Like you, I’m getting better at it, but I suspect it will be a lifelong work-in-progress. Can’t wait to dive into the books! Thanks again for your kindness.

  2. Oh my god, Behind The Beautiful Forevers is a beautiful book! The writing is gorgeous. Best of luck with the FET. Sending all the best from NYC,

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