We got some snow overnight, and the roads were not plowed early enough for the morning rush hour.
Our bedroom window.
I got up early because the 30% increase in Levothyroxine makes me jittery in the morning, and tried out one of those MediCare Dollarama Pregnancy tests.
BFN.
Now, I haven’t really posted much about symptoms because well, I haven’t really had any- aside from a permanent dizzy and brain fog feeling ever since 2DP5DT. I also had some minor cramping 1-2DP5DT. The only other time that I’ve experienced the brain fog and dizziness is during last pregnancy. Since I’ve been on these meds 5 days prior to the transfer, and didn’t feel the dizziness or brain fog then, I’m pretty sure that they are a sign of pregnancy for me.
Secretly, I also tested on 7DP5DT (yesterday) using my last Clearblue Easy Plus and got a faint positive.
Do you see it?
But after the BFN today, I’m confused, and feeling absolutely devastated. I’ve been laying in bed all day, feeling hopeless and depressed.
Do we have implantation failure? How have NONE of our 7 day 5 blastocysts worked in either of us?
Should we switch clinics? Or will it just be more of the same bullshit no matter where we go?
Our beta is on Saturday, and I feel guilty for not feeling hopeful.
I should’ve listened to my wife and never have bought those cheap dollar store tests.
Mama et Maman 
During one of my TTC cycles, the ClearBlue gave me a false positive. I’m sure you can imagine the devastation that accompanied that.
That being said, I wouldn’t put too much stock into the dollarama tests. Try again with a FRER, if you plan on testing again.
I’m praying for you that you’re pregnant and the symptoms were giving you indication that your little one is in there with you.
Thanks Linds. I’m going bonkers right now. I should’ve just waited for the beta.
I am soooo fighting the urge to test already and I’m only on 5 DPO… I’m sorry that you are experiencing the roller coaster, I hope we both get BFPs soon
Thank you! I do too. Good luck and hang in there.
Lol ohhhhhhhh dear! That looks like a hint of a positive for sure. I know it’s so hard to avoid the temptation of testing before beta. Hang in there! Xx
Thank you. How are you doing?
Oh you know, same old same old! 🙂 I’m eager to meet my potential new RE this afternoon, and see if he thinks we should give IUI a go again. If all goes well maybe in a couple weeks?! That would be great, but I’m thinking he’ll want to have some tests done first. I’ll report back! Xx
Yes, please report back. I’m curious as to what he will say about your failed IVFs, as we’re sort of in a similar situation- unexplained infertility.
Yeah I’m curious too. The one big factor that stumps me is that I was only ever able to get prego when my body did the deciding, rather than any drugs or labs. When we first started trying for #2 I was breastfeeding often and even though I was ovulating regularly, I had a pretty short LP. I’m really starting to think I should have stayed at my original clinic and continued trying the same way after my mc.
You know, I have the same feeling about mine. I naturally ovulate very late (CD22-26), but do ovulate every cycle. I suspect that even with all the manipulation using hormones, my body still is functioning on the same schedule that it wants to.
For example, I had gobs of EWCM for days around CD 26, even though the meds would have me in my TWW already.
Yeah I’m thinking the same for me. My RE was always saying my eggs were “hard to fertilize”, but I’m thinking it’s more a matter of them always triggering too early for what is natural for my body.
Good luck!
Thanks!!
I see a faint line girl! Come on! Have a little hope, a little faith, cuz from my room (which also has some snow on the windows), i see a very faint line…keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for all good things… ❤
Thank you. Me too. The next two days can’t happen fast enough.
I definitely see a faint line on that Clear Blue. Could be that the cheapie test just wasn’t sensitive enough to see what the CB is seeing. Try not to let the gloom swallow you today. (Easier said than done, I know.) Hang in there.
Thanks Molly. I’m trying. You described how I feel so perfectly in your comment. I do feel like I’m being swallowed, engulfed, by terrible negative thoughts, and need to snap out of it.
I see the line. Maybe try a frer? I use those when I want a definitive answer. I use cheapies otherwise.
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus. Do I brave the snow storm and walk to the closest pharmacy? Lol. Cars are abandoned and stuck in the snow all down our street!
Yikes, good luck. I wouldn’t blame you for waiting a day.
Yes, yes you do. Get those snow boots on and go. 🙂
I agree with the comments so far – I see a faint line on the clearblue, and like your wife, I wouldn’t put my mental health in the hands of dollarama. So, go buy yourself some real quality tests and try again in a day or two.
I suggest taking the dogs for a walk in the snow to start cheering yourself up (assuming it’s nice enough to be outside of course). Or sit down with a good book. Or bake. Really, just do something to distract yourself so you aren’t so consumed with your fears and frustrations (which are absolutely justified by the way).
Yes, so true on multiple points. Dollarama!?! What was I thinking? Cars are stuck in the snow all down the road. I may take the dogs to the field behind the house. Juno’s favourite thing (aside from found balls) is fresh snow. She prances in it like they are puddles. Thanks for the advice. I shall distract myself soon 🙂
I have been thinking of you all day. I hope you found a good distraction. 🙂
I am with My Perfect Breakdown. Distract yourself then test with a high quality test. Perfect time to bake Christmas cookies! Thinking of you today- I know that feeling so well.
Thank you. Wise words- it is the perfect day for Christmas cookies!
As hard as is is, bear in mind that it is much more likely to get a false negative than a false positive. And that was definitely positive. Even without looking at it backwards and upside down with crazy photo enhancements. Hoping for your hard!
Thank you so much for the perspective. I really hope it sticks!
I see the faint positive. Mine didn’t show up on the cheap tests until several days later even though it was positive on the more expensive ones. I’m praying for you both and sending good thoughts your way!
Thank you! I hope you and the babies are doing great!
Testing is so freaking scary. I’m sorry you’re going through this and feeling so awful. I absolutely see the positive test in the clear blue. Did you buy another one? I wish you could come to LA and go to our clinic, they’re great and I know they could help you guys. Also, your relationship with your wife reminds me of my own.
Thank you. I wish we had access to better fertility clinics too. I haven’t tested again- we’re pretty snowed in and I’m too scared to see another negative.
Thats understandable. I wish i could say something comforting. Im sending you so many positive thoughts. You and DW are so dedicated, i know you’re going to be amazing moms, one way or another.
I am sorry… I’ve been offline and missed this in first instance and now it’s beta day. How are you feeling?