Home » TWW » Day 5- Ideal Birthday

Day 5- Ideal Birthday


It’s a weird thing you know, the word “ideal” seems like such a grand concept to me, something so much bigger than I can even conceive of. Yet, when I think about what my ideal birthday would be, it seems so limiting. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it’s difficult to satisfy all of the different aspects of who I am. So for this post, I will keep it simple.

As a kid growing up in a really messed up broken home, I can only remember having been thrown one birthday party where my friends were invited. There was a piñata, and cake.


My friends all had lavish birthday parties, with themes, lots of games, and awesome goodie bags. I was always super jealous that they seemed to be so well loved.

In my twenties, I made sure to plan birthday parties for myself. Often they were themed ones- retro sports, mustache, drag, etc. Kind of like a Halloween party in March (my birthday month). They were tons of fun, and the focus wasn’t so much on me as it was just to get together and have fun. You see, I’m actually kind of introverted. Having people sing me “Happy Birthday” actually makes me feel super uncomfortable. I can feel the stares of anticipation, piercing through me. It makes me want to hide under a table until it’s over. It’s weird though, because while I’m an introvert, I still love socializing and going to parties. I just don’t like a lot of attention on me. I LOVE throwing parties and planning surprises for other people though.

When I met DW, who is a super duper introvert, birthdays changed again. Her birthday is two and a half weeks before mine, so it makes it difficult to do our birthdays separately. Sometimes I think we should just find the midpoint between our birthdays and just celebrate then. Last year, her family came up to visit the week after her birthday, and made it a birthday visit. They brought gifts and we had cake. I thought that it would’ve been a joint birthday thing, but I think they forgot that my birthday was the next week, so it never got celebrated. I didn’t say anything, but I was really sad about it. Coming from a family where I never got celebrated for my birthday, and never got birthday or Christmas gifts, I think I’ll always be a little sensitive about those things.

For the past couple of years, my birthday has fallen on March break, so DW and I have treated ourselves to all-inclusive trips to sun destinations. I have been super happy with this. Last year, we booked at a resort that we love and upgraded to their suite with a private pool. That was THE BEST! I think that going away to a sunny destination is my idea of a perfect birthday. However, if it turns out that I am pregnant (best birthday present ever), I don’t think we will be travelling for March break. The risk of food and water borne illness is too great, and the amount of insecticide and pesticides that are used to keep those places clear of bugs is scary.




So, we may have to dream up other birthday plans.

Maybe a lesbian games night at our house?

Maybe a nice dinner out with friends?

What has been your favourite birthday to date?

17 thoughts on “Day 5- Ideal Birthday

  1. Can I come to the games night? (Look at me inviting myself to your party!) I LOVE games!

    I’ve always been extremely uncomfortable with the focus being on me for my birthday parties. My mom always had my b’day parties in the backyard because I’m a July baby. It was easy – nothing lavish, usually just had the neighborhood kids over, but I loved them. Except for the singing part. 🙂

    My ideal birthday would be a dinner out or order in followed up with games with a small group of close friends. BUT I think a day at the beach would also be ideal. Just me and my loved ones.

    I hope you get the best present ever this year.

  2. Your childhood (from your previous posts and this) seems to have many similarities to my own. Won’t go into detail here..but it just means we know all the mistakes NOT to make, eh?

    • Yes, definitely. It still hurts thinking back on my childhood, and while I think I’m a much stronger person having gone through all of it, I definitely wouldn’t ever put a child through it. It’s very eye opening. I’m sorry yours is similar to mine. It helps knowing there are people like us out there, who have survived it and come out with happy lives despite it.

  3. I’m sorry. Growing up I had parties, it was really weird if you didn’t at my school. After a certain age I was kind of the girl everyone picked on so having parties didn’t interest me. I’m an introvert and don’t have any desire for parties as an adult.

    • Yeah, it was like that at my school too growing up. I’m sorry you got picked on in school. That’s terrible. As an adult I enjoy parties, just not ones for me. I do like quiet groups for dinner though.

  4. I can relate to this post in so many ways. I’m an introvert but also love participating in celebrations… I get bothered when people forget my birthday (which is pretty hard to do since its April 1st/April fools day) but I get very uncomfortable when people sing or even say happy birthday.

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