Home » Pregnancy 2015 » Another Fucking Roadblock

Another Fucking Roadblock

*Warning: lots of F-bombs released in this post*

You’re not supposed to write when you’re angry. You’re especially not supposed to write emails when you’re angry, but I just did. I couldn’t help it. I am just so angry right now. 

So I’ve been counting days (as you do when you’ve been cycling, going through TWWs, on edge for the next ultrasound, etc.) since I had my blood drawn and sent off for the NIPT test on April 29th. Like I mentioned before, another blogger got her results back within 6 business days, and today would be the 6th business day. So I’ve been anxiously going about my day, with my phone ringer on high and always close by. I made breakfast, I planted some bush beans, I got some chicken and potatoes ready in the slow cooker, I cleaned and disinfected the kitchen, all with my phone tagging along. I finally took a break about 10 minutes ago, checked my phone, and there was an email from my lovely genetic counsellor with a subject line of “Results expected next week”. God bless that girl for emailing me to let me know not to expect anything anytime soon, but CML blood labs can go and fuck themselves. 

Apparently, despite protocol being that they should’ve mailed my sample by courier (1-2 days max) off on April 29th, the sample wasn’t received until May 4th. That’s 5 fucking days! So now, because of this, I’ve been told to expect results sometime between May 11th to May 14th. 

I know some of you might think I’m just being a whiny baby about this, “what’s another week?”, but let me put this into perspective here:

It has taken us 3 years, 4IUI’s, 2 full rounds of IVF, and 5 transfers of a total of 9 embryos to get here. There have been 3 miscarriages along the way.

We got the abnormal result on April 17th. 

Paper work for funding for the NIPT was sent on April 21st, which was somehow never received by the Ministry of Health.

Paper work for funding for the NIPT was re-sent on April 28th, and thankfully approved on April 29th.

I did my bloodwork and the package was supposed to be sent off the morning of April 29th. Somehow it doesn’t reach the lab until May 4th?!! And now I am told I might have to wait as late as May 14th for results?!! 

Ladies and gentlemen, it has taken Canada one month to deal with something that should’ve taken a week. What. The. Fuck.

The impact of this is that my wife and I are in pregnancy limbo, crying on our bad days and worried as shit on our good days, losing out on a full month of pregnancy bliss due to what is hopefully a stupid false positive NT scan that I never really wanted to do in the first place.

Fuck.

Just fuck.

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64 thoughts on “Another Fucking Roadblock

  1. I get it. I really do. Our NIPT results were delayed too and I was freaking out. And I paid $1100 for that effing test! And of course you recall the neural tube false positive result we had in January that took over a month to confirm as a false negative (and be replaced with a couple of new diagnoses that have been a new though lesser source of stress). Our system sucks. F bomb away. You have every right. I hope the results come early next week and in the meantime while I am sure you and DW are struggling I want to commend you on being as positive and committed to Dumplin’ as ever on your blog these past weeks. Hugs, friend.

    • Thanks for understanding. I’m sad that you’ve had such a shit time too…. And all along the way. It really is in contrast with those people who have “wonderful pregnancies” isn’t it? It seems so unfair, but I guess we survive somehow. Yes, I’m trying to stay positive still. I had this flare of anger, and just needed to get it out. I took the dogs for a hike afterwards in the beautiful weather, and convinced myself that another week isn’t gonna kill me. That really, all of the investigations won’t be done until May 29th, so this is doesn’t make a big difference. We will survive. I still love Dumplin’ more than ever.

  2. Ugh…F-bomb all you want…because I don’t know why they are messing up with all of this. The extra stress and worry is just not right for you. You have gone through so much and they need some urgency with your case! I feel like issues like this need to be RUSHED. Just know that I’m really hoping you get your results sooner than later. xoxo

    • Thank you. Yes, it’s like they picked the anxiety-stress-case and decided it was a good idea to fuck with her. Ugh. I feel better already though, having aired my grievances with you all, and having received such support πŸ™‚ Thank you.

  3. You’ve gotta be kidding me!!! At this rate, you coulda done the test, drove it to wherever it needs to be, waited in the waiting area, and still had your results well before 5/14! This is just crazy to me. I hope that they get it in sooner than th 11th, but gosh…that is so effing frustrating. I know you and DW are going through it right now. Wish there was some point person for you to contact to expedite these results and give you peace of mind. Praying for speedy results….and thinking of you both…

    • What I don’t get is why we don’t have a lab that does this in Canada? I mean, DW did her master’s degree on karyotyping and I did an honours research project on sequencing DNA, so we HAVE the technology for it here, just not the system in place I guess. I love Canada, but sometimes, I’d pay extra money to get shit done efficiently. Fingers crossed that the results come back good and this is all for nothing. I was joking with DW that maybe Dumplin’ is gonna be such a kick-ass kid that the universe is making us pay for her upfront?

      • Canada isn’t as populous as the US (isn’t it about 1/10th the population?), there might not be enough demand to justify a lab up there?

      • Yeah, that’s what Sarah at ThreeHeartsBeating says. There’s a patent and the company that has rights to it didn’t think it financially worthwhile to expand to Canada due to the smaller population.

      • I’m sure another lab in Canada could take on this task. I’m sure the problem is more about finances…..we don’t offer it so it can’t be covered by medical…

  4. I am so sorry. I really hope they surprise you with quicker than average results. I wish there was a way to make the waiting easier. I hope this is the last pregnancy challenge you’ll have to face. Thinking of you.

    • Thanks Molly. I imagine this is just a taste of what parenthood will be like-channelling frustrations into patience, anger into grace… Who the hell knows. I guess that’s how I’m gonna try to make sense of all this crappy luck. Hopefully the universe balances it with lots of good luck soon.

    • Yeah, the sad thing is that really, it’s not free. We pay such high taxes to fund EVERYBODY’s health care, which is fine with me, as I believe in equity, but it really sucks balls when you think of how all of the health care costs that we’ve incurred to have a child have been paid out of pocket. Who’s subsidizing it for us lesbians and infertile a who can’t procreate like straight people can? Fucking no one. So basically, we’ve been paying into a system that we have barely used and paying more into a system that isn’t covered like the rest of health care is. Ugh exactly. Sorry for the rant. All of this to say, I’m frustrated with public health. It needs a quality and efficiency officer to stream line processes. Thanks for the support though πŸ™‚

      • Yeah exactly. My province is very much pro-socialism, which is great in theory but it just means there are a fuck load of freeloaders who clog it all up and make everything inefficient. I’d personally much rather be in the US where I’m more likely to get quality for what I pay for. And if not, I can sue! *eyes rolling* universal health care bites.

      • Yeah, I am so torn on it, because I feel the same as you- we can afford to pay for hefty private medical services, so we’d rather go for the better service and efficiency that that offers. But at the same time, I like that those who aren’t able to pay for health care are still taken care of. It’s tough. I just wish our universal health care system was more efficient and more patient-friendly.

      • Lol. Let’s hope! I said to another commenter that maybe Dumplin’s gonna be an awesome kid and the universe is making us pay for her upfront πŸ˜‰

      • It’s really not much better in the US. My insurance premium would be over a grand a month if we had a kid, and a 2k deductible on each family member. So it’d really be only good for routine office visits. And you lose coverage if you change jobs until the coverage at the next job kicks in. It’s a very bad system.

        Granted if you have thousands and thousands of dollars to spend, you can get good care.

  5. It’s not fair how this situation has been handled. Although I said our NT scan went went well, my blood results were lost at first. How does someone lose blood results? I don’t get it. Hope the next week goes by smoothly for you.

    • Yeah, it’s crazy to me that they’d forget to send my $800 specially packaged blood sample (it was literally in a huge fancy shipping box with an ice pack in it- don’t get me started on what it might mean that it needs an ice pack yet was sitting on a counter for 4 days before it was mailed), and lost your blood sample! Did you have to redo the blood drawn or did they eventually find it? A couple of years ago, I was having some bloodwork done which came back with an HCG of over 2000. I was in a monogamous same sex relationship and there was NO WAY that I had sperm near me at all, so I got sent to a gynaecologist, and an oncologist, because high HCG without pregnancy is a strong market for Ovarian cancer. I went to all my referrals and was convinced I had one to three years to live, when they decided to redo the bloodwork….. And my HCG was zero! Turns out that the lab must’ve mixed up my sample with someone else’s. They convinced me that I had ovarian cancer, and some poor stranger who was presumably trying to get pregnant, that she was not even though she was. What a big fuck up!

      • O. M. G. That story leaves me with no words…. I don’t know if they’ve even found it yet. I just got the 2nd blood draw done. My doc said they would call if the 1st one was found and had anything of concern in it. I’m just taking a lack of news as good news.

      • Yeah, chances are if your NT result was good, the blood will be unremarkable too. My family doc says that the notoriously high “false positives” with this test are for the blood work, and that the NT scan is usually very reliable.

      • Thank you for sharing that. Makes me feel reassured. This is another reason why we need more advocacy in Canada. This test should be available within our Country

  6. There is nothing whiny about being angry that the test was not properly expedited. I call that “righteously infuriated”. I’ve been thinking about you all week, hoping for the 6 day wait. I’m feeling a bit righteously infuriated for you at the moment myself. I’ll continue sending good thoughts of false positives your way.

  7. Because it’s patented, according to the genetic counsellor we saw, and the company that owns the patent doesn’t think it is worth their while doing the processing in a place with a smaller population base. Grr. It is a pretty unsettling when health technologies are more about making money than helping people.

    So sorry to hear that you’ve encountered yet another roadblock – it is so shitty that it is taking this long, and that things keep going wrong with the process… Hope that in a week, you’ll have the results, that this difficult wait will over and you’ll get the good news you’re hoping for. I’m sure she’s going to be a totally kick-ass kid πŸ™‚

    • Thanks for the info. Damn patent law. It’s such a great test that would make a positive impact on prenatal care in Canada. Sadly, it makes sense why they won’t make an investment (if they don’t think they’ll make money on it). Thanks for the support. I hope we get good results that are worth the wait.

  8. I am so angry for you right now!! I simply cannot believe this! Honestly, this is beyond unacceptable! Although I live in a different province, I’ve had my own frustrations with the Canadian medical system that lead us to leaving the country for diagnosis that went beyond what the doctors here would do. But, there was a big difference between what you are experiencing right now and what we did – you are pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. You need answers now, not in another week or two or three. This simply is unacceptable!

    • Thanks, I agree. I’m 15 weeks tomorrow, and stronger bonds are being formed as each day passes… Yesterday, I felt Dumplin’ kick, and DW put her hand in that spot and felt her kick too! It’s just so hard because i just want to be able to be able to trust that things will progress normally.

      • Oh oh oh – you felt Dumplin kick!!! That’s so freaking awesome and yet you are all stuck in limbo so can’t even get properly excited.

      • Oh my, I am so excited that DW was able to feel a kick too!! I’m smiling form ear to ear reading this, even if I’m reading it three days too late. (life’s been absolutely crazy, my apologies for being somewhat absent).

      • No worries! Life happens, and I certainly don’t expect comments to happen right away. Yup, little kicks though. I’m feeling them right now as we’re driving home from the cottage πŸ™‚

  9. Totally justified – I would have gone OFF at them. They should know stress that parents go through waiting for this test result. It’s not just normal bloods and I would hope that they would be respectful of that. Let me just add to your list of fucks with one of my own on your behalf – FUCK!

  10. Oh for fucks’ sake. This is appalling and SO frustrating! I’m so sorry. Can’t the Universe just give you a break, damnit?! I’m still praying for you and your sweet baby, always. I am praying you get the news we are all hoping for.

    • Thanks Linds, for your support and for your thoughts and prayers. At this point, all I can hope is that the results are good πŸ™‚ How was your drive today?

  11. WHAT THE FUCK!? I am so sorry! I would be out of my mind furious! Don’t these people understand the severity of the situation? Ughhh. So not cool. I hope they are able to get to you before the 14th. And until then, I hope that you find some peace to help you get through the next few days without losing your mind. You can do it, mama. You are so strong!

    • Thanks for the support hun. We are heading to our family cottage for the weekend, so hopefully getting out of here takes my mind off things. I just cannot believe shit just keeps going wrong! Like seriously, WTF?

      I hope you’re doing well… Happy Mother’s Day ❀️

  12. I don’t blame you for this post – I would have been just as hacked off. A MONTH! I mean, seriously, that is just unforgivable on a test that should take a week. Especially and most importantly given the significance of what it is testing. And you’re right – you’re just stuck waiting waiting and not being able to move on or feel any kind of emotional peace about what is happening with the pregnancy. It’s just awful. I really feel for you and I know I’d be climbing the walls in your situation. I hope you hear back asap x

    • Thank you for your empathy and support. It really has been a test of patience and faith. It’s amazing how much shit we can put up with! I hope you’re doing well πŸ™‚

      • You’re right. We put up with so much. All through this journey. Yeah, not too bad thanks. Emotionally far better, physically still a bit of a wreck πŸ˜‰

  13. I am just catching up on your blog. FUCK. I am so sorry, that is unacceptable.
    Really hoping they resolve this for you and that you get some good news ASAP.
    Sending you love

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