Home » Pregnancy 2015 » Update on My Mom’s Visit

Update on My Mom’s Visit

Thank you so much for all of your comments, suggestions, and advice. I’m usually such a passive person, so it’s hard for me to “impose” on other people, even when it really would make a positive difference for me. But your comments, shared experiences, and advice really gave me the pep talk that I needed.

So I turned to my sister, and we talked out some epidemiology. Basically, if my mom has a cold, she’s contagious for about 5 days after symptoms begin. If she has a flu, it’s about 7 days. Since we don’t know what she has, we figured that she’s contagious for 7 days from the onset of her symptoms. 

My mom became symptomatic on Thursday, so she’d potentially be highly contagious until this coming Thursday. But she’s supposed to arrive tomorrow morning, exposing us to this virus for about four days. 

So then I called my mom.

I asked her how she was feeling, and expressed concern over her being sick and us being immunocompromised. She asked if maybe there was a motel or somewhere she could stay for the first few days until she’s better, and  in a timid little voice, I asked her if maybe she’d be willing to postpone her flight until Friday. [Keep in mind that her even coming to visit me is a BIG DEAL, and in the past has not been the most involved mother.] 


Apparently she had already checked in for her flight. 


So I asked if it would still be possible to cancel her flight and book for Friday instead. I offered to pay any penalty and difference incurred. She said “Okay” and that she’d call me back.

An hour an a half later, she calls me and apparently she was able to cancel her flight and book for Friday. Air Canada charged her $300 for the change. 

[Phew. Thank goodness! $300 is well worth the peace of mind.]

I feel really guilty for asking her to do all of this, especially since apparently she was all packed and ready to go (her flight was supposed to leave late tonight). Plus, she’s jet-lagged and sick. But, I know that she was willing to do all of it because not doing so would put us (and potentially Dumplin’) at risk. 

Now she gets to stay home for a couple of days, and recover in the comfort of her own home- which is what I would prefer if I were feeling as sick as she sounds. 

Phew. Huge weight off my shoulders. Thank you so much for all of your comments. You gave me the balls to put my family first- above my own fear of letting other people down. 

Now to make sure my MIL doesn’t come back sick from her Caribbean cruise in two weeks…..

Seriously! As a bit of a wanderlust myself, I’m jealous of everyone around me travelling! 

30 thoughts on “Update on My Mom’s Visit

  1. I’m so proud of you for speaking up. My FIL is sick so we didn’t attend Thanksgiving supper. I didn’t want to risk it either… And if baby comes within the next few days, we will ask them to wait to visit. We’ve come so far to get these little ones in our lives. We gotta do what’s best for us and them

    • Thank you. I agree. I’m so glad you made a similar decision too. Were they understanding? It seems like my mom was pretty understanding about it. But you’re right. The lengths that we’ve gone to create and protect these babies makes it even more important that we put them and ourselves first.

      Ps- how are you feeling? Do you think baby B is coming soon? I’ve been noticing really bad back aches (I didn’t have any back pain the entire pregnancy), which feels like a tightness and comes and goes every couple of hours for 10-15 minutes…. I’m wondering if it’s back labour starting…..

      • My MIL can be clueless so her reaction was more of a ”oh I never thought of that”. It went fine though. Nothing for me except increased Braxton hicks (Lots of them and they last longer) and random cervical pressure. I keep thinking he’s staying put. Maybe if my doc does another sweep on Friday we might see him this upcoming weekend. I had lots of cramps and spotting after the first one, but all that has disappeared. I think yours definitely sounds like the start of something! If it increases will you inform your midwife?

      • I’m glad your in laws didn’t make a big deal out of it.

        So weird- I honestly haven’t felt any BH since the end of 2nd trimester. I’m not sure why. I just don’t feel any tightening anymore. I do feel the cervical pressure though- little zings and sharp pains, but not that often. It’s kinda disappointing that the sweep caused you some progression, but then kinda disappeared. I’m excited for you to have another done on Friday! The back aches/tightening feels like it’s definitely something, but I don’t know if it’s the start of something that’ll take weeks to peak, or if it’s a sign of something happening soon. No contractions with it though, so I probably won’t call the midwives. They did take the time last Tuesday to remind me to call them if I have contractions 3 mins apart, lasting 1 min each, over 1 hour… So I wonder if they’re expecting me to go early too? I have an appt on Tuesday, and I wonder if they’ll do a cervical exam to see if I’m dilated yet. I know it’s not a good indication of timeline, but I’m just curious. One midwife said that she doesn’t do cervical exams on FTM until 38 weeks because we so often go late. I’ll be 37w5d on Tuesday… So maybe she’ll check.

      • I hope so! After he checked mine, both my acupuncturist and Chiro thought I’d only have about another week to go… But we are almost past that now. It’s so unpredictable. You just never know when baby will come unless it’s actually a planned medical intervention. My mom said her labour started with like period cramps. I thought I felt a few last night but then it might have just been dehydration. So I upped my water today and nothing

      • Yeah. I’ve had very very mild period cramp feelings, but not in any regular pattern. Because of the amniotic fluid thing, I’ve been trying to drink about 3L a day. My mom said there was no warning before she went into full-on labour with me. It just kinda happened. She thinks that if Dumplin’ is so big already that he’s gonna be coming out soon.

      • Ya I’ve had a few people tell me that if he’s so slow I will hopefully have a shorter labour. *fingers crossed.* I’d take it happening spontaneously over days of agony

      • I am confident that whenever he chooses to come, you will welcome it with positivity and that no matter what, it’ll be a great experience for you. The waiting is the painful part lol.

  2. I’m so glad to hear that she’s delayed her visit; I can imagine how hard it would have been to ask that of your mother, but it sounds like the best thing – even the stress of worrying about possibly getting sick would be awful. Great that she handled it well.

  3. You were brave. I’m sure your mom understands and is relieved to be in her own bed for a few days. I’m glad you’re relieved and hope your visit goes well. My neighbor brought me so much Korean seafood soup after Gia was born but I couldn’t eat it because of the meat. I ate lots of it and I sipped it 🙂

  4. That’s the best case scenario! I was going to suggest hotel motel but then that wouldn’t be ideal for her and I’m sure you would have felt awkward about it too. Great that she was so understanding. I can understand that it was a difficult conversation to have. Wishing your mom a speedy recovery and you all a very nice visit! Xx

  5. Just catching up on this. I would have really really struggled to say anything and put my family first, so I think you’ve done brilliantly. Mothers can be complex and even though I am not hugely involved with mine I still avoid any kind of confrontation of decision that would cause upset. Well done – I admire you for standing up and putting yourself and DW first.

    • Thank you 🙂 I’m pleased with how it worked out too. I talked to my mom last night though, and she is a bit irritated because she said she’s been feeling fine since Monday, so “we wasted all that money” postponing her flight. I decided it was best if I didn’t bring up her getting sick in the first place 😉

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