Home » Uncategorized » Dumplin’: A Quick Update and Photo Dump

Dumplin’: A Quick Update and Photo Dump

Motherhood has been hard, my friends. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it-  there have been moments when I have found myself in tears while holding an inconsolable baby, wondering why I wanted this so badly. Dumplin’ is a good baby, but boy is he fussy. I’m not sure if this is normal for most 2.5 month olds, but he still freaks out if he’s not being held, and more recently, even being held doesn’t console him. These days, he seems more irritable than before, despite being more social, smiling and babbling lots. It’s hard for me to write about it, because I keep hoping it will change. Writing about it also makes me sad because I’m really not enjoy our days together, and I am embarrassed about it. I used to have anxiety as bedtime approached, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach in anticipation of desperation, sleeplessness, baby crying, sore nipples, and the smell of baby vomit. But recently, it’s anxiety about nighttime and daytime now too, since DW returns to work tomorrow and Dumplin’ has been extra fussy lately. Weeks 8-10 were better, as I just resigned myself to bedsharing and side-boob feeding him the entire night. We got more sleep this way. The boob seriously saved us, but then recently I’m finding him not dozing off as easily from our side-lying feedings. He’s fussier, requiring something more than being held or bounced on the exercise ball…. I just can’t figure it out. Plus, he’s puking up milk every time he gets upset, despite us being better with burping him more frequently. 

It’s been a struggle. We tried sleep training him one night (to not need to nurse to fall asleep) after a couple of friends had cautioned us against nursing him to sleep, warning us that the habit would be much harder to break after 3 months. It went terribly. He cried incessantly any time we placed him down on our bed after 10-20 seconds. He ended up vomiting all over himself twice because of how hard he was crying. Picking him up after 10 seconds of fussing didn’t console him for long either. He was pissed at us for experimenting with his spirit. So after a handful of attempts at giving him a chance to self-soothe, we gave up. The crying was just too much, and we felt like bad moms for it. I’m back to comfort nursing him until he falls asleep, and allowing him to sleep for most of the night with my nipple in his mouth. It seems to be the only way right now. 

He’s also super congested at night, so we have to give him Salinex drops and run a humidifier in our room. It makes me paranoid that he’s having such trouble breathing at night that I’m not sleeping fully even when I have the chance to. It’s awful.

Christmas came early for us, with my sister and BIL visiting us for a week. It was a great time, especially since they were super helpful with Dumplin’ and also with making meals for us. The next week, my mother flew in for the rest of the holidays, which was lovely too. We also hosted our first family Christmas dinner at our house! It was only a little crazy, but was made a lot easier since my in-laws took care of the turkey making, and brought extra Christmas placemats and chairs. Dumplin’ was spoiled with some homemade and thoughtful gifts too.

But the holidays are just about over, my mom has flown home, and DW returns to work tomorrow. I have some major anxiety about being the sole caregiver for Dumplin’ again. It was nice having all of these family members around- someone else to hold him so that I can eat or fold laundry, to rock him when he’s crying, to play with him and make funny faces at him so that he has more positive interactions…. Because I feel guilty that I am so sleep deprived and worn out that I can’t meet his glances with a smile, even though I love him so much. But on the bright side, maybe having less excitement will mean that he’s less overstimulated this week, so we can get back to our routine, and better sleep will follow. 

This kid is huge though. A week ago (10 weeks old) he was already weighing 16lbs. He’s also up to size 3 diapers. It’s insane.

Anyways, not all is terrible. We have sweet morning snuggles in bed, and he is smiling and babbling more and more each day. Here are some pictures to make up for lost time: 

   
    
    
   

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113 thoughts on “Dumplin’: A Quick Update and Photo Dump

  1. Oh my goodness, those cheeks! I’m sorry he’s being so fussy. With the puking thing, has he been checked at all for acid reflux. That can make babies super fussy. If not, I’d ask your dr. about it. Good Luck, hope it gets better very soon!

    • Thank you πŸ™‚ Yes, I mentioned it to his pediatrician, who made note that he has “mild GERD”, but did nothing about it…. Not sure if I should push him to medicate him, but I’m starting to think maybe it’s necessary. He cries just before he’s about to upchuck, so I know he’s got acid reflux…

  2. It gets easier, I promise. I remember so clearly feeling like I would never have a life again! In the midst of it when people would tell me it goes so fast I wanted to punch them in the face so just know this stage will end. And of course keep loving the good parts. :). E is still a top notch snuggler.

    • Thank you. I met another mom yesterday who has two boys that are fussy and sucky like Dumplin’, and she said “4 months”. That it would all be better by then lol. I felt better talking to her, and also reassured that it would be possible to eventually get Dumplin’ in his own bed before he’s a teenager lol. Awww, E looks like he’d be a great snuggler πŸ™‚

  3. Like Julia said, it does get easier (in some ways) but this is a really tough ‘season’ and I am sorry you’re struggling through it.

    Evelyn was the kind of baby who would cry herself to puking if I didn’t nurse her to sleep, too. I heard all kinds of advice from people about it being a bad idea, etc…But survival in the moment is far more important (at least it was to me) than the long “game”. I actually hated hearing those things. Evelyn was that same kind of needy. She HATED being put down, nursed to sleep (and all night, too), only napped on me. I know how hard and draining it is, and my heart goes out to you. I especially loathed hearing about babies who put themselves to sleep or would nap off a body, when mind did no such thing! I think sensitive babies turn into sensitive, empathic kids. So perhaps all of this is just a precursor to you discovering a very sweet, loving & empathic little guy as his personality emerges.

    I hope getting back into a routine is good for not just Anders, but you too. I’ll be thinking of you. ❀

    • Thank you. I have been thinking of you a lot lately, since I know EJ was/is similar in needing that closeness. I also thought that maybe this is how us empathetic sensitive types are born. My mom said that I was exactly like him when I was a baby. I love the snuggles and the closeness though. It’s just the crying that I can’t seem to soothe other than with my boob that really upsets me. It’s like boob is all he associates with me. Also, there’s an eviction date for him and our bed too- since Mochi is on the way. I would love some advice on how you eventually got EJ into her own bed. I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull it off when he’s 5 months old, but I’m up to hearing how you made it happen.

      • I will send you a message soon. I recall Evelyn being able to nap on her own around 4-5 months (after the 4 month sleep regression, anyway) and the crying slows down then, too. I can’t say she ever got better with the need to be close/nipple in mouth until much later, but there are things I wish I had done to help her away from that earlier!

  4. ^
    |
    Survival in the moment is basically how I haven’t lost my mind yet. I ignore anybody who says I’m making bad habits or making my life harder later on. If I need to still nurse my eleven month old all night so she sleeps I’m going to do it. It sounds really hard and I agree it’s a rough age but that babies are just kind of tiny terrors and there will always be something new and challenging. The nice thing is soon he’ll be sitting which means some alone time! Bean now plays alone all day so besides nursing and changes I get to get a lot of downtime! Nights are still insanity but the days do get easier

    • That’s good to know. When does sitting start happening? He’s already sitting up against us, but I wonder when he’ll be ready for the Bumbo? And the Jolly Jumper! I can’t wait to see him bouncing on that thing too! I bet Bean is super cute playing by herself….

      • Bean sat independently at 4.5 months. The bumbo didn’t work for us because she got stuck in it so with chunky dumpling you might not have too much luck there either! The jolly jumper we started as soon as she could sit on our lap with us only supporting her bum not head. It really does help the sanity levels. At first I still needed to entertain. Like bring things for her to play with but now as long as I’m in the room she’ll play for hours alone. She has seperation anxiety and has to be able to see me and check in (Ie rip my shirt down and nurse for a Milla second) but it’s so much easier. Does he like the swing? That was my go to when I needed a break before she would sit alone

      • Yeah, he’s kinda hit or miss with the swing. Sometimes he loves it, sometimes not. So weird that he won’t lie down on his back happily though. I’m guessing it’s because of reflux maybe.

    • Most babes don’t sit unassisted until 8 months. Of course, some earlier, some later. Don’t worry if it takes awhile.

  5. Hey hate to give unsolicited advice but if I were you I would be asking his pediatrician about whether he has a reflux issue and can be given the prescription form of Zantac for babies. It sounds to me like he is uncomfortable not because of anythingyou are doing or feeling to do but because of something going on inside of him. I could be wrong as this is my gut feeling but if I were you I would ask for some help on the digestive front. I also think that you are onto something about overstimulation being tough on some babies. Both of my never want to even now when there is a lot going on and that messes with them both behaviorally. Good luck in the coming days and weeks!

    • Thanks Spiritbaby! Yes, I agree, it seems like something is making him uncomfortable all the time. I worry that the Ped will just dismiss us though because he’s gaining weight really well. It’s worth a shot anyhow. Yes, I think my little guy is super sensitive to overstimulation, which doesn’t surprise me, because I’m the same way. I hope you are doing well and that the new year brings good things for you and yours.

      • I was going to suggest this too only because our son has this. We actually thought he was getting a cold due to the congestion that was accompanying his cries and sleeplessness. When we asked the doctor he confirmed that it was all from his reflux and that it gets worse at night. Strange how that happens just in time for YOU to get some sleep. We increased his dose of Zantac (2.5 ml 2x/day) and it has worked wonders. He still doesn’t sleep all night but that is something we have resigned ourselves too. Hang in there momma you are in the midst of what I firmly believe to be one of the hardest jobs out there. Sending you restful thoughts!

  6. Oh sweetie I’m so sorry to hear things are so stressful! I hope that acid reflux is a strong possibility, because I believe zantac can do wonders. I understand your not wanting to medicate, but it may be only short term since around 3-4 months their systems are much more mature. I hope you find some relief soon, for all 3 of you to enjoy your days & nights again. The good news is…it will get much, much better. Once this period passes, everything else will seem so simple. Thinking of you xx

  7. Hi! I’ve been following your blog for awhile now but have never posted a comment. somethinf that has been really helpful for me as a new mom is a moms group that I’ve been attending through our hospital. It’s a great support, and the babies are all about the same age, so it’s been great for trading tips.

    Also, I learned at moms group that postpartum depression/anxiety peaks at 3 months postpartum– most people are told is happens immediately after birth. I see a great therapist which has been helpful.

    You are doing a great job and you are a great mom. Hang in there!

    • Thanks for your comment! It’s nice to hear from you. It’s also interesting to hear that PPD peaks at 3 months, as we’re almost there time-wise. I agree that having a mom group does help, and I have found a local group that’s active, and plan on socializing with them a little more now that the holidays are over. Thank you πŸ™‚

  8. Lilly was the same way. She was ALWAYS fussy and seemed uncomfortable. We couldn’t lay her down flat in her crib or bassinet or she would spit-up/vomit repeatedly. We thought she had reflux so we let her sleep in her swing every night. She would vomit a lot after every feeding so I called the pediatrician and they suggested cutting out dairy. It’s been a couple of weeks and we have a happy baby who barely spits up anymore and can sleep lying flat. It took a few days for the dairy to completely get out of my system but once it did it was like a light switch

    • Thanks for sharing your story. I think this is enough of a push for me to truly cut out the dairy. I wasn’t convinced it would help as much before, but I’m desperate now. I hope it makes as much of a difference for us as it has for you two!

  9. I hear you loud and clear. There are days lately when I wonder if having a kid was really right for me and if only I could have just one night to myself I’d feel better. Having a baby is so hard, even the “easy” ones. It’s temporary though, he will grow to be more independent. I’ve felt that dread about nighttime and also spending the day by myself with her. I’ve felt the burden. Take it one step at a time. I hope things get better. He is so so so cute!!!

    • Thank you. While I wouldn’t wish these frustrations on any other mom, I’m reassured that I’m not the only one feeling like this. I know we will get through this somehow, but it just sucks so badly right now and is compounded by the anxieties I have around Mochi’s arrival. I hope you three are doing well.

      • I totally sympathize with you and just while I’m being super honest, it would be scary and overwhelming for me to have another one on the way. It won’t be forever though – the intensity will die down after a few months or a year. I hope things get easier for you and for him. Can you get away or get someone to watch him once in awhile so you can regain your sanity? Sending you big hugs.

      • We’re thinking of asking my in-laws to drive 2 hours each way once a week to give me some relief for a day or two. I think the weather and his colic are driving me to PPD pretty quickly. I’ve been going to the gym a couple of days a week but it hasn’t helped get me out of this funk. It’s gotten so bad that I don’t even want to hold my kid right now.

      • I am so sorry. You really need a break. I wish I could come take over for a day. It’s a good idea to get help from the in-laws, if they’re willing, even if they have to sleep over.

  10. Also – Breast feeding produces hormones that make the baby sleepy – that’s what nature intended it for! It’s totally normal for him to nurse to sleep and still breast feed a lot at this stage. I know it sucks, believe me I’m going through it still at almost six months, but I do believe it’s natural and you’re doing the right thing.

  11. Sorry you guys are having a rough bout. I too have heard the advice not to nurse to sleep, but that’s the only time our man seems to get tired. I also like the idea of topping him up before his sleep and that special closeness right before bed. Like you’ve said in one of your comments, maybe he’s just a sensitive soul – you know what your little guy needs. Who’s anyone else to say.
    Sounds like you have an idea of why he’s getting sick so often. I just bought a book called the Wonder Weeks which kind of prepares you for the cognitive growth spurts, and our little men are in a time frame of extra fussiness (they’re noticing nuances/changes in their environment now or something). According to the book this makes them more clingy I guess because their little worlds are opening up and it’s overwhelming. Putting a reason behind some of the cries is a little reassuring. Not as if it helps much when you have a screaming inconsolable baby at 2am…
    Good luck. I hear you with the relief of having visitors. You got this though πŸ™‚
    Ps he’s seriously adorable!!

  12. It’s tough isn’t it! J is a sensitive/spewy baby too who will only nap on us and hates lying down. Our saviour at night has been putting her on her side in a Sleepy Head pod. It means she actually sleeps although she still spews quite a lot!
    Sending you hugs. I totally understand xxxx

  13. It is so hard. The inconsolable screams/crying really peaked around this time for us. I think when we looked it up the term was “purple crying.” He’d hold his breath (still does sometimes) and we’d have to blow on him to make him breathe again. So stressful. 12-13 weeks really is like a magic switch. Everything isn’t all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows all the time, but it just feels more manageable. I remember just surrendering to the snuggly, cuddles and resigned myself to not getting anything else done. He was content most of the day to just be on my body… except for the 2-4 hours in the evening when he’d have the purple crying. Nothing worked then.

    • Someone above mentioned the wonder weeks app, and now that I’m thinking about it, it probably was a mental leap/wonder week because so much changed a few weeks later. Understanding the wonder weeks really does help reframe the struggle. You know there is an end to it.

      • Yeah, there never is time to read the things we hope will help lol. It took me over a month to crack open the sleep training book… because well… I was exhausted haha.

  14. Oh gosh – so much of this is true for us. Baby F is THE fussiest baby I’ve had and I have done literally nothing for 6.5 weeks. There have been many times where I have cried while she is crying because I have NO idea what is wrong. And the sleep-deprivation is awful. I kept telling myself we just needed to get to 6 weeks. Apparently it all gets better then. Has it? Nope. Now I’m looking at 8 weeks as my new magic number. I can’t bear to think as far as 4 months… We’ve tried sleep training twice – awful. Just awful. She screamed hysterically for ages and I cried and cried and resigned myself to sleeping with her for the forseeable (day and night). My nipples are still sore (that was supposed to be gone by 6 weeks too). The only thing I can say is a) I’m right there with you and b) it really does get better, even though it feels like it never will. I find getting out for a walk really helps – it’s 20 minutes where I don’t have to hold her and she doesn’t scream either. Plus it’s supposed to help them learn night from day to expose them to natural light. Hang in there – the transition to motherhood is rough, but you’ll get back on your feet xxx

  15. What a huge little guy! I love the smooshed face sleeping on the shoulder. Did you try reflux medicine? It really sounds like that could be part of what is going on. I hope things calm down and you both get into a routine. Please don’t worry about nursing him to sleep. It is not a bad habit and not something that you have to break him of. It is biologically normal. Go with your gut. A 2-3 month old baby is not going to self soothe.

    • Thank you. I haven’t tried reflux meds yet. I’m gonna try going off dairy first to see if it does the trick. If we keep him upright for 20mins, he doesn’t seem to upchuck, but since I’m less likely to burp him after getting him to sleep sidelying while nursing, that’s when he’s getting the reflux. I guess it’s preventable, but it’s just so hard to sit him up for 20 mins when we’ve all finally fallen asleep.

  16. Thanks for being so open about how hard it’s been for you. I think that, especially when these kids were so planned for and wanted, it is sometimes hard to reconcile that with just how hard it is having a newborn – at least it is for me, I feel kind of embarrassed admitting that it’s so challenging and that at 4 months we still don’t really have it figured out. It does seem to get better over time, but not in a really linear way – lots of ups and downs.

    Also – He is such a cutie. I love the face-smoosh on your wife!

    • Oh, I meant to say as well – we had a really hard time deciding whether to medicate J for her reflux, but it (and a few other changes, like keeping her upright after eating) really helped. Feel free to email me if you want to talk reflux πŸ˜‰

      • It works by decreasing stomach acid production; even though we were told that it wouldn’t stop her from vomiting, she seems to vomit less on it, and it definitely bothers her less when she does (sometimes she doesn’t even seem to care much). She also did/does a lot of ‘silent’ refluxing, where she burps and stuff comes up into her throat, and that used to be painful for her and a huge source of fussiness, but now it’s a lot better. The tricky part is keeping the dose right as she grows – if she gains more than a pound or so she outgrows the dose and all hell breaks loose until we adjust it.

        I almost cried when I filled the prescription, and we waffled about it for so long, but it has made such a huge difference for her. Her sleep is still absolute crap, but at least she isn’t screaming all night, and she’s a pretty happy baby now that she’s not constantly uncomfortable.

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ I know it’s been tough for you guys too. I am hoping for some more good days right now because the scale has been tipping heavily the other way for a while.

  17. He has the cutest little cheeks on the planet! I just wanna squish ’em! As for the rest, don’t fret, sweetie. Rest assured, the first few months, I really believe the all first time moms wonder what they got themselves into. I totally related to the moms who shook their kids in those first few months. Don’t worry though, things will smooth out and hopefully get better soon! Hugs to you all!! Hope the new year brings beauty, peace, and love all around! πŸ™‚

  18. Oh my gosh your guy is sooooo cute! It really sounds like your guy is struggling with reflux, so I hope dairy elimination or meds help! One thing that has been my saving grace during the trials of early motherhood if the Facebook group I joined (Bay Area Breastfeeding Support…not everyone lives in the Bay). People post questions on everything from feeding to sleep to rashes and it is moderated really well by lactation consultants.

    In terms of sleep, since I went back to work my guy sleeps like crap and wakes every hour to nurse (yeah for reverse cycling😩), but sidecaring our crib has been wonderful.

  19. I’m in the middle of writing a post about how much I’m struggling right now, too. I really do feel your pain, friend. Needy, clingy babies are so hard. C is such a happy baby most of the time, but she’s nursing CONSTANTLY. She barely sleeps, and when she does, she has to be attached to me. It’s so, so hard. We have a swing, a bouncer chair, an exersaucer, and one of those jumpy things for the doorway, and NONE of them occupy her for longer than 10 minutes. It feels like unless I’m at work, she is attached to me. My nipples hurt. My hips & back hurt from sleeping with her. I don’t even feel like a person anymore. I wish I could offer some advice, but I’m in no position to be offering anyone advice on anything other than how to successfully lose their mind. Being a mom is hard. Really hard.

    • Oh sweetie, I wish we could get together in real life and give each other hugs. I know it’s been so tough for you, almost every step of the way- with breastfeeding and now with the sleep issues. I hope that it improves soon for both of us, and that maybe this means we will have amazing thoughtful kids out of all of it.

  20. I am in the same position with my second one, who is 7.5 months. Do what feels right. We have a screamer so sleep training is not easy. And honestly, if crying it out doesn’t feel right, that’s okay. There are plenty of us moms out there that won’t do it. Also, we let my first fall asleep eating and she was a great sleep. My one suggestion is don’t try to change everything at once. Maybe let him co-sleep until you can get longer stretches of sleep from him. Then transition to a crib for naps only. One things at a time. Also, I would keep a record. Try to make a note of when he is waking up at night, how long he is feeding, etc. Maybe you will notice a pattern that can help you. Like mine, I think he might just be a hungry boy! Feel free to email if you want to chat more. I feel you though, mama. Keep pushing, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    http://www.renegademothering.com/2013/02/09/i-became-a-mother-and-died-to-live/

    Oh, and read this.

    • Yes, you’re right. I think I was expecting too much from him all at once. I like your suggestion of incremental changes. I think I need to focus on the reflux first to see if it helps him sleep for longer stretches.

  21. I’m so sorry you’re not able to enjoy motherhood right now. Whoever says it’s easy is lying! It’s the hardest job I’ve EVER done. My work in the ICU was much easier than mommyhood. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal behavior for baby. It gets better. I know how annoying it is to hear…it gets better, but it really does. I’m more concerned about you and PPD. Sleep deprivation does not help that…however, nursing does…so keep it up! You’re doing fabulously. Have you considered talking to an IBCLC (international board certified lactation consultant) regarding your soreness and different positions to feed? I know he is getting enough nutrition from your adorable pics!!! I’m not so worried about that, but more about making it more comfortable for you. She may also have insight on what you can do to relieve the symptoms your little one is experiencing.

    My little guy had reflux and horrible colic. It started at 4pm and he screamed till midnight some nights. It was awful. We co-sleep, just as you do and that has been a Godsend. He was on Prevacid for a little while but I stopped it once he started vomiting it…ha ha ha. He all of a sudden didn’t like the flavor or texture and he was outgrowing his dose anyway, so I tried without and we did ok. It’s not to say he doesn’t still have reflux, I just watch him carefully and hold him upright or give him a paci to help bring things down the right way at times. If you want to chat more, feel free to email! coalescedreverie@gmail.com. You’re in my thoughts!!! Hope you’re having a good day today!

    • Thanks for the support and advice. The little bugger refuses to take a pacifier, though we’ve only tried two types- the MAM ones and the Wubbanub soothie. I’ve heard that reflux meds are difficult to dose adjust as babies outgrow their dose. We’re trying to eliminate dairy and trying to keep him more upright after feedings to see if that does the trick. As for his sleep patterns……. I’m mapping them out and noticing that perhaps he’s still stuck in a nocturnal shift right now, which is why he refuses to sleep at night and waits until 5am-11am to get in a nice stretch of sleep. Little bugger. Too bad mommies can’t seem to sleep in that late.

  22. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. It does get better when they are a bit older, but gosh, it is still really hard sometimes. We still have sleep issues with our 1,5 year old, which made me nightwean using the Gordon 10 step method recently, but the boob-all-night phase was mostly over when he started to move a bit, rolling and then sitting.
    Have you tried switching nipple for a pacifier?
    We never medicated the reflux, it went away by itself a bit after starting solids. I helped him by babywearing for all naps during the day and also tried to decrease my milk supply a bit, only feeding one side each meal because a heavy letdown and long nursings made him overeat I think. When I nursed him in bed he would have milk coming out his nose, so I often had him on my chest many nights.
    A baby hammock might also work, for Mr. Fussy, the easiest way to make one is to tie a babywearing wrap under a table. It keeps him upright and is cosier than a swing.
    For sleep I found some relatively helpful advice on naturalbirthandbabycare, there is this podcast “why AP moms can’t get good sleep” and she also had a small ebook. The stuff she advices is more gentle than the usual sleep training methods.

    • Thank you for the support and advice my friend. We keep trying to get him to use a pacifier, but he refuses. We’ve tried only two kinds so far though… Not sure if it’s worth buying more just to try them out. You make a good point about bedtime nursing and his mobility- did you mean that it had to end (on your end) because he was too wiggly, or that he stopped needing to nurse in bed as much because he was less likely to be stationary?

  23. I don’t have practical experience but I can offering heaps of empathy and virtual hugs. Sounds like you guys are all over trying the well trod info out there for fussy babies and it’s just not making a dent… Yet. I really hope a quiet week means little man gets to find his pace again so you get sleep.

    I’m also wondering if a night of post partum support via a doula could help you get some much needed sleep? Some friends with a baby who had GERD did it. The doula held and cuddled the baby all night, only coming in for feedings. It proved helpful so mama could sleep and so baby got soothed by someone else at his most ‘problematic time’ so I think it increased everyone’s confidence a bit? Maybe even a day time break for you could help? Then again, I also feel like a dink for suggesting it because it’s one of those unique situations and it could cause more anxiety and stress for you than help…

    The photo of him over your shoulder is beyond adorable.

  24. He’s so cute and so big!! Daiton is big to me and at almost 5 mo the he’s just now 14-15lbs. Our babies are very very fussy too and some days I’m on the verge of tears from shear exhaustion and frustration. I am home alone with them daily and even once Kate us home I’m the primary caregiver cause they feed often still and cause I calm them easier than her. It’s tiring beyond belief so I get your fears and frustrations. Your normal and it’s ok to feel the way you do. For me the 4 month rule didn’t apply…they got fussier and are now in the 4 month sleep regression which it worse than newborn sleep in my opinion. I hope for your sake he does get easier though! Xo

  25. I’m feeling the SAHM struggles too friend. I’ve admitted to Callie that it is absolutely not for me! I understand the “bring so exhausted that F*CK everything else” thing! It’s super tough, but then those faces and everything, at least for a moment, is ok. And 16lbs!!!! The boys JUST made 20lbs! He’s one healthy boy, and honestly, I think 12lbs is just those cheeks!

    • Haha. Quite possibly a 12lb cheek! Thanks friend. Dumplin’ is such a sweet boy though, and you’re right, these little guys make it worth the exhaustion and sleep deprivation. How are you 6 holding up? I can’t even imagine the busyness (and the love) happening in your home!

  26. I think newborns are insanely challenging and very much not rewarding which makes it all worse. I can promise you that it gets better (maybe not for a while) but when it does you will mostly stop finding it hard to believe you wanted it so badly.
    Carter was a very fussy/challenging baby. he did not respond well to anything and it was so hard. I think bigger babies in general can be really challenging because they need more, they are hungrier, they maybe aren’t able to be as mobile..i really don’t know but Dylan was easier as a newborn.
    (I still hated the newborn stage even with an bit of an easier babe).

    You are doing great and he is awesomely beautiful.

    Sending you love and positive thoughts! It might get a little worse before it gets better, but it will get better. Take every moment for what it is and take any support and help you can get so you have a break from it all.

    • Your comment has made me feel a lot better about how I feel. I think the newborn stage isn’t my cup of tea either. I can’t wait until Dumplin’s able to be more interactive and do more stuff. Right now he’s so helpless and I guess I feel like a failure not being able to soothe him with anything other than a boob.

  27. Late to the party as usual. I’m sorry things are so stressful but hang in there. You’re doing your best and even if you don’t feel like it sometimes, it’s more than enough. He’s so darn cute though. xx

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