7 Weeks

Hi folks, I’m sorry that I haven’t been posting as much lately, but I have been feeling like garbage. This week has been a real shitshow in terms of nutrition, thanks to the pregnancy sickness that started a couple of days before six weeks. It started off as random food aversions, and then more aversions and bouts of dry heaving started, and now I am basically grossed out by all food. It’s worse when I prepare food, so in order to survive, I’ve been dining and grabbing take out a lot more than usual. 

I’m not as exhausted in the afternoons now, which is nice, and I haven’t been napping all week. I do have a mild headache in the afternoon and evenings, which when combined with the nausea, makes me feel super hungover (without the fun night before). 

I am eating though, even if it is a battle, and I’m trying to include as many healthy items (protein and veggies) as I can to offset the bad things that I seem to enjoy right now, like popsicles, lollipops, and juice (sugary things that I normally never eat). 

I turned 33 this week, and celebrations were very chill, as I wasn’t feeling very well with the UTI symptoms (that didn’t end up being a UTI). My in-laws drove down to take DW and I for lunch for our birthdays. We went to a very nice Italian restaurant that does gluten-free substitutions for their pastas and pizzas. I had my favourite pizza there, with prosciutto di parma, figs, arugula, mascarpone and grano padano cheese, and a drizzle of honey. 



(Photo from Trip Advisor- my pizza looked almost exactly the same as this)

The pizza was delicious, but I struggled  with nausea during the car ride to the restaurant, as well as towards the end of our lunch, because I devoured the entire pizza (in comparison, DW only ate half of her pizza). When we got back to our house, my MIL surprised me with homemade gluten-free brownies, which were delicious. I felt bad because I didn’t feel much like eating again after our car ride, but I froze them so that I can enjoy them once my appetite returns. I thought it was super sweet of her though. 

The weather has warmed up a bit here, which has been nice for my mood, but terrible for keeping the dogs clean. DW has started some plants from seed, and they are now doing very well under the grow-lights. We’ve got leeks, green onions, eggplant, peppers, and lettuce going right now. Other plants will be started in a couple of weeks. Mid-May, we start considering putting them in the ground. 

Other than that, not much is new. I am so grateful that the bleeding stopped and has not returned. I sometimes feel a fluttering near my left ovary area. I suspect that the little Dumplin’ may have implanted on the left. It has almost been two weeks since my last ultrasound (5w3d) where the tech saw the gestational sac and yolk sac, and I’m anxious as hell to see a heartbeat on Monday (7w3d). This has been the longest two-week-wait yet. I feel like I have been perceiving this time as an extension of my original two-week-wait, because of our previous loss which happened at around 7-8 weeks (but the embryo stopped developing a week earlier than that). I haven’t allowed myself to celebrate this pregnancy yet because my body has shown that it can be fooled into continuing to carry a pregnancy that has already stopped. That’s why this next ultrasound is so important to us. 

However, I do appreciate the support from all of you, and your happiness for me is helping me to believe that this will work out. In particular, I received this lovely card in the mail from Alicia at Ladyloveandbabydust! 



It actually arrived on my birthday, but I was thrilled that it was to celebrate my BFP! I feel like this baby would be the best birthday present ever. 

In other news, after finding out that the midwifery practice in our region was fully booked, I went out on a limb and contacted 4 neighbouring midwifery clinics. All of the clinics explicitly say on their websites that they will not service residents outside of their catchment areas, but I sent in applications anyway. One by one, I heard back from each clinic, them reiterating that they could not accept me because I lived outside of their catchment area. Keep in mind, that for two of these clinics, I am outside by only one major street. Then, two days ago, I heard back from the last midwifery clinic, which is located the furthest distance away (technically two cities away), accepting me for an appointment next week! There are two hospitals near us, and they have privileges at the one a little further away. This hospital is the same one that my endocrinologist and RE are affiliated with, and the same one that I had my D&C at. Anyways, I’m so excited to meet our midwives on Tuesday! Last week I asked my family doctor whether she thought I should go with a midwife or an OB, and she said that a midwife would align more with my personality and needs. She said of course, that’s if everything goes well and this is deemed a low-risk pregnancy at the time I’m discharged from the fertility clinic.

I can’t wait until Monday, when hopefully we get to see the little Dumplin’s heartbeat. I hope she is thriving as expected, and that me and her Maman can finally stop holding our breaths. 

In the meantime, little Dumplin’s furry sisters are on guard. 



Advertisements

Day 9 and Happy Birthday to DW!

IMG_6249

I don’t eat gelato or ice cream often, as sadly, I’m lactose intolerant. However, when I do indulge, my favourite gelato flavour is pistachio. Now, not all pistachio gelato is made equal, and my preference is for the type that has actual pistachio meat incorporated. In fact, I’m usually very disappointed when I try a new gelato place and the pistachio is mostly just extract.

If you’re ever in Toronto, there’s a chocolatier that makes the best truffles and also makes amazing gelato and real hot chocolate. It’s called Soma Chocolate. There are two locations: one in the Distillery District (where we had our wedding reception), and one on King St. near Spadina Ave.

——————————————————–

Now yesterday was a super special day. It was DW’s 39th birthday! Unfortunately, it was a weekday, so she had to spend most of the day at work, but when she got home, we got to spend some time together. Yesterday was also the Lunar New Year (also known as Chinese New Year), and I wanted to combine the two into one celebration by having Chinese hotpot at home. Hotpot is basically a savoury fondue, where you communally cook meat and veggies in a common broth. Our hotpot has two compartments for different broths. DW loves hotpot, and I had plans to do one side miso and the other side homemade Tom yum soup from scratch.

IMG_6284
(A hotpot night from a couple of years ago.)

So I started with getting the Tom Yum soup broth started…

IMG_6347

But about 3/4 of the way through (45 minutes into food prep), I just felt exhausted from my day of running errands. The thought of chopping more veggies, dealing with setting up the hotpot, washing dishes, and etc. made me overwhelmed. So I asked DW if it was okay if we just had the Tom Yum soup for dinner, with no additional hotpot. Of course she said it was fine. The soup itself had prawns and scallops, and was packed with veggies.

IMG_6348

Instead of birthday cake, DW prefers Dairy Queen’s ice cream cake. However, since it was just us two, and I can’t eat ice cream cake, I decided to get her something new:

IMG_6369
DQ Blizzard Cupcakes!

She loved them!

We spent the rest of the evening on the couch, watching TV because we were so tired (she hasn’t been sleeping well either), and put ourselves to bed early. Last night, we both got a great sleep, and woke up this morning refreshed.

I guess this is what birthdays look like when you’re almost 40! (Obviously, I’m kidding. She is a very introverted and low key person in general, so this was perfect for her.)

Here are some of my favourite pictures of my favourite girl.

IMG_6358

IMG_6359

IMG_6361

IMG_6360

IMG_6362

IMG_6366

IMG_6365

IMG_6363

IMG_6367

Day 5- Ideal Birthday

IMG_6249

It’s a weird thing you know, the word “ideal” seems like such a grand concept to me, something so much bigger than I can even conceive of. Yet, when I think about what my ideal birthday would be, it seems so limiting. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it’s difficult to satisfy all of the different aspects of who I am. So for this post, I will keep it simple.

As a kid growing up in a really messed up broken home, I can only remember having been thrown one birthday party where my friends were invited. There was a piñata, and cake.

IMG_6275

My friends all had lavish birthday parties, with themes, lots of games, and awesome goodie bags. I was always super jealous that they seemed to be so well loved.

In my twenties, I made sure to plan birthday parties for myself. Often they were themed ones- retro sports, mustache, drag, etc. Kind of like a Halloween party in March (my birthday month). They were tons of fun, and the focus wasn’t so much on me as it was just to get together and have fun. You see, I’m actually kind of introverted. Having people sing me “Happy Birthday” actually makes me feel super uncomfortable. I can feel the stares of anticipation, piercing through me. It makes me want to hide under a table until it’s over. It’s weird though, because while I’m an introvert, I still love socializing and going to parties. I just don’t like a lot of attention on me. I LOVE throwing parties and planning surprises for other people though.

When I met DW, who is a super duper introvert, birthdays changed again. Her birthday is two and a half weeks before mine, so it makes it difficult to do our birthdays separately. Sometimes I think we should just find the midpoint between our birthdays and just celebrate then. Last year, her family came up to visit the week after her birthday, and made it a birthday visit. They brought gifts and we had cake. I thought that it would’ve been a joint birthday thing, but I think they forgot that my birthday was the next week, so it never got celebrated. I didn’t say anything, but I was really sad about it. Coming from a family where I never got celebrated for my birthday, and never got birthday or Christmas gifts, I think I’ll always be a little sensitive about those things.

For the past couple of years, my birthday has fallen on March break, so DW and I have treated ourselves to all-inclusive trips to sun destinations. I have been super happy with this. Last year, we booked at a resort that we love and upgraded to their suite with a private pool. That was THE BEST! I think that going away to a sunny destination is my idea of a perfect birthday. However, if it turns out that I am pregnant (best birthday present ever), I don’t think we will be travelling for March break. The risk of food and water borne illness is too great, and the amount of insecticide and pesticides that are used to keep those places clear of bugs is scary.

IMG_6298

IMG_6297

IMG_6296

So, we may have to dream up other birthday plans.

Maybe a lesbian games night at our house?

Maybe a nice dinner out with friends?

What has been your favourite birthday to date?

Another year older, another year wiser

So I received my first birthday card in the mail today. It was from my in-laws, who, for many reasons are the perfect complement to my history and relationship with my own parents. They offer stability, reliability, and pamper me during the occasions that we all secretly hope to celebrate. Occasions such as Christmas and Birthdays, for instance.

My parents weren’t really the coddling type, nor were they particularly sentimental while my sister and I were growing up. And as a typical Pisces, I thrived on sentiment and the feeling of being loved or celebrated. I’m in my 30’s now, and I suppose I shouldn’t aspire for such silly things, but I am very pleased that for every holiday or occasion, I receive a handmade card from my mother and father in law.

It makes me happy…

Joyful even.

Happy birthday to me.

20130304-182611.jpg