Liebster Award!

Thank you to TwoMommasInTheWorks for the nomination! Pops and Oli, you have been a pleasure to follow! This is my first nomination, and it sure feels good.

So here is how it works:

1. Link back to the blogger who gave you the award.

2. Answer the questions designated by the blogger who nominated you.

3. List 11 random facts about yourself.

4. Nominate 3-5 other bloggers with less than 200 followers.

5. Make up a set of questions for the nominated bloggers to answer.

The Questions:

1. What state do you live in?

I live in Ontario, Canada.

2. If you weren’t pregnant or in the TTC process, what would be number one on your bucket list?

I don’t really have a bucket list. I kind of treat it as a “To Do List”. If I wasn’t trying to be host to a parasite, I would have enjoyed spending my summer either: chasing turtles in the blue ocean around Maui, walking the public markets in Thailand, or getting diarrhea in China.

3. Is your family supportive of your plan into parenthood?

My mother and sister know, but father doesn’t yet. My wife’s immediate family all know. Everyone has been very supportive so far.

4. What are three things that make you want to follow someone else’s’ blog?

Humour, relevance, and regular posts.

5. How many kids do you ideally want and what genders? Twins?

Oh gosh, I want a whole litter. Other than my parents only having two, everyone else in my extended family all had 4 kids. My grandparents on both sides had 5 and 6. It feels a bit lonely right now because I live so far away from my family, and I’m so used to having tons of cousins around.

Gender is not important to me. Children of both genders have annoyed me. lol.

Twins would be awesome (but my nipples would hurt like hell).

6. Are you planning ahead to have the same donor for other kids or one step at a time?

It was slim pickin’s for us when we were buying sperm. And I approached the situation much like one does when organic chicken broth goes on sale at Costco- I bought it alll…… But really, all meant that we ended up buying 4 viles of Cherokee (our nickname for one donor), and 2 viles of Braun (the nickname for our other donor). So far, we’ve used up 3 Cherokee and 1 Braun for IUI’s and 1 Cherokee for the IVF. 1 vile of Braun remains. If we don’t two babies out of our last two potential FETs, then we will probably use up the last Braun. Sorry for making this into a math problem.

7. Does your partner read your blog?

Yes, she does. But since she doesn’t have WordPress on her iPhone, she just kind of checks it out whenever. Sometimes this means that she misses many posts in a row, and then finally finds out that I wrote a post about her masturbating me. lol. Ooopps!

10. What made you fall in love with your partner?

It was love at first sight… in a nasty musky hockey change room. She was running her mouth about something that I wasn’t listening to because I was staring at her abs…. and biceps…. and deltoids

Not only that, she has a sharp wit, is extremely handy (I’m a bit of a princess at times), and super thoughtful.

11. What do you typically do Sunday mornings?

Sleep in, sip an americano in bed (care of my lovely wife), make a kick-ass brunch, and go on a romantic hike with my wife and our dogs.


Random Facts:

1. Our little dog, Clementine (chihuahua-pug mix) aggressively humps a microfleece blanket at least 7 times after every meal. Right in our front bay window. For everyone to see. Especially the preschool group that walks daily along the sidewalk in front of our house.

2. Our big dog, Juno (husky-lab-retriever mix) has killed over 40 animals, ranging from birds, to medium sized mammals, to baby deer. She is extremely protective, and unstoppable.

3. My wife is more Chinese than I am (not literally). She is 4 inches shorter than me, has pin straight black hair (mine is wavy/curly), is proficient using chopsticks with both hands, and has actually been to China. She tops this off by sporting a rice-picker hat every year at Pride.

4. My wife used to be a competitive powerlifter.

5. We both used to play varsity field hockey for our undergraduate universities.

6. We have 6 university degrees between the two of us, and just finished paying off the student loans that they incurred in 2012.

7. I grew up playing in a family band (like the Partridge Family). We performed on a cruise ship once.

8. DW was part of the Young Astronauts Club, and witnessed the Challenger tragedy in grade 3 (1986). She remembers pointing at the TV screen, yelling “They’re all DEAD! They’re all DEAD!!!”, and was subsequently ushered out of the room by the teacher.

9. I have abnormally long limbs. I stand at 5’7”, but my wingspan measures 5’11 (they’re supposed to be the same). In medical school clinicians used me as an example of “Marfan Syndrome”. I don’t actually have Marfan Syndrome. Marfan Syndrome is actually really sad.

10. I’m really bad at foreplay. I kind of like to just get it on. DW has to remind me of these four five syllables: “fore-play-cuddle-after”. It’s so bad that it’s kind of a joke now.

11. I have dreadlocks. They are self-maintaining, clean, and beautiful. They also smell amazing- like scalp and Aveda.


(The little dog demonstrating the proper “cuddle after” technique)



1. The Gayby Project

Hilarious, honest, and super awesome. These girls are doing their first FET today!

2. Not Sisters

Also hilarious, very entertaining, and apparently look alike. They recently miscarried, and are navigating these waters with a wee little one already.

3. Religion: Optional

Their little girl Punky, should have her own Tumblr. She is friggin’ adorable. Rachael, Kim, and Punky are a sweet family that I really enjoy following. Rachel’s posts are so honest and heartfelt. Sometimes, they are a little ray of sunshine in my day.

Questions for Them:

1. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

2. Team Jacob or Team Edward? Explain.

3. What is a recurring inside joke between you and your partner?

4. What is a baby name that you absolutely cannot stand?

5. What would you do if you won $20,000 dollars (that cannot be put towards baby-making or paying off debts).

6. What are 3 qualities that you love about your partner?

7. Teenage celebrity crush?

8. What is a guaranteed way to get you out of a bad mood?

9. What is your favourite comfort food?

10. Team or individual sports?

11. Describe yourself.

IUI#4: Cheap Movie Tuesdays

I always have such witty blog ideas floating around in my head, but when it comes to putting fingers to iPhone (yes, I blog from my iPhone- laziness), I become annoyed by the tiny keyboard dexterity required for all of those words, so I put in a half-assed effort. For that, I apologize.

Some of you might be wondering, “Where’s your computer?”, to which I answer with the following points (point form is less typing on the iPhone):

Uno. I don’t like having a device that emits electromagnetic radiation sitting on my lap (I AM trying to make a baby that is non-teenage mutant ninja turtle remember?).

Dos. Darling Wife has a desktop that we use for school things mostly. All school-related things have been banished from my summer. I am on summer break after all.

Tres. My Mac is currently hooked up to our television so that we can watch Netflix because cable tv sucks right now. It’s got 2 adapters hooked up to it and like I said earlier, I am on lazy summer vacation, so disconnecting and reconnecting might make me sweat.

I have been a bit of a princess the past two days (DW would probably argue that I’m a princess all the time). I have been eating and leaving my dishes lying around, I’ve got various pairs of dirty panties (hate that word) still in the shape of the number 8 cluttering the bathroom floor (crowding around the shower), and I’ve built up a nest of hoarded blankets and pillows on the big couch in the TV room. I think DW deserves an award for putting up with the mess.

Not to mention all of the fetching of things she does for me, as well as dealing with my post-IUI whiney ass.

Yes, yesterday was our IUI. The narrative is clear in my mind, but again, I am too lazy to fill you all in on the specifics. But here is a summary:

After pulling the long-distance phone call induced all-nighter, we got up and hit the local Starbucks for a much-needed caffeinated drink. We got to the RE’s clinic about 45 minutes too early for our appointment and sat in the car listening to Radiohead. Being sleep deprived I felt like I was at a laser show. Fun times. Once in the waiting room, we waited for another hour and a half before we were seen by the doctor. I was pissed off because our sample sat at room temperature for at least 45 minutes post-wash. I’m not sure about the viability of sperm after this period of time, but I have read that it is best to use washed frozen sperm ASAP.

The IUI procedure itself was pain free, and had no leakage, which was great.

We then headed to DW’s school to pick up some local peaches grown by a colleague of hers.

Once home, I set up my “couch nest”, and proceeded to watch two Woody Allen movies, and a movie called “Friends with Kids”. I love Woody Allen, but watching two of his movies back-to-back is a bit painful. Halfway through the first movie, I started having excruciating stabbing pain on my right side, which I am hoping was mittelschmerz. It was so painful that I actually passed out for maybe 30 minutes. We also watched three episodes of Dexter. So while our egg and sperm is hopefully becoming a little spark, I am watching films with dry comedy and about serial killers. Dang. Hope this kid turns out proper.

Meanwhile, DW spent the day doing hard labour- powerwashing the paint off the side of the house, scraping away what paint remains, and vacuuming up all of the chips. She is a hard worker.

That evening, we went to the cinema to see RED 2 (yes, another movie!). It was awesome and had me laughing my ass off for a good part of the entire movie. We then went for a late night dinner at the local Viet/Thai restaurant because when I’m feeling under the weather, all I want is broth and soup.

All day I felt crampy and my cervix was really tender, making it uncomfortable to sit up or change positions. Farting hurt my cervix and peeing hurt my cervix, which really makes me believe that my anus/rectum, bladder, and cervix are very close in proximity. DW said to me today, “You’re definitely gonna have an anus tear during childbirth then!”. Thanks lovaire. Thanks.

Anyway, I’m now officially in the two week wait. I can’t wait to see what symptoms f&!k with my head.

Maybe my next post will just be my google search history?


IUI#4: Timing

So let’s try this again…

Onto IUI#4:

Wed July 24- AF (CD1)
Fri July 26- BW and full bladder U/S (CD3)- start letrozole, 5mg dose for 5 days
Thurs Aug 1- BW and U/S (CD9)- follicle: 19mm (R)
Fri Aug 2- BW and U/S (CD10)- follicle: 19mm (R)
Sat Aug 3- BW and U/S (CD11)- follicle: 21mm (R), uterine lining 7.2- EWCM- estrogen starting to spike (600+)
Sun Aug 4- BW and U/S (CD12)- follicle: 22mm (R), uterine lining 8- EWCM- 4:30pm faint OPK- Ovidrel trigger at 9pm
Tues Aug 6- IUI#4 at 9:30am, ovulation pain at 1pm (40 hours après trigger) (CD14)

IUI #2 – The Case of the Magic Microscope

After weeks of anxiously waiting and hoping, today finally arrived. Yesterday morning I went in for blood work and ultrasound, and right before being discharged, the nurse gave me the okay to inject the Ovidrel in the evening. Curious about my LH levels, I peed on an OPK stick in the late afternoon, and it was positive. I wish I had tested a few times earlier, to see when I started peaking, but oh well. Being a science nerd, I’ve researched enough to write a literature review on the topic. Anyway, all I knew was that I had already started to naturally ovulate, and the Ovidrel was gonna give that egg the extra kick out the door. I’m curious to see what my BBT is tomorrow morning.

Last night, I was a bit of a baby with respect to the Ovidrel. I made lots of whining noises and borderline crying/pleading while my Darling Wife held the needle like a dart and in fact, referred to it as such. She took great pleasure in tapping the inverted syringe, and depressing it to get air bubbles out. It made me nervous, very very nervous.

It all ended up painless in the end, and I felt awfully silly for the tears that were nearly out of the ducts. The dog looked at me with disappointment and called me weak.

We watched some Walking Dead and then headed to bed. I had the best sleep that I’ve had in a long time. Not sure why.

I woke at 6:15 am, naturally, before my alarm, and was excited for the day. The drive was great, and we stopped at Starf#@!s Coffee so that I could grab a Grande-SFV-L-NF-latte on the way to the clinic. This kept me from getting grumpy due to hunger (a major problem that I suffer from).

At the clinic, there were 2 other couples there. It’s funny observing the demeanour of straight couples at these clinics. The women mostly look anxious, and the men always look embarassed. It’s the same look they wear when buying tampons for their women. DW got in a conversation with a straight couple about Sesame Street doing a vocabulary lesson on the word “Incarceration”. By conversation, I mean, they were a bit ignorant, and she did her best to bite her tongue and not make it a “learning opportunity” for them. This is teacher talk for setting them straight (no pun intended). DW is extremely intelligent, and does not suffer fools well. It sometimes results in “mini-scenes” with strangers, and I am glad today’s disagreement didn’t lead to that. After all, the clinic was holding our sperm hostage, and I had already paid for everything in advance.

We were directed to the IUI room by “Harpreet”, and I was very surprised by how bland and ordinary the treatment room was. It looked like a regular physician’s exam room. I’m not sure if it’s the price that we paid (in addition to the price paid by our provincial insurance plan), or the fact that we’ve waited three months for this procedure, but I was expecting more. I expected an ultrasound machine, and for the doctor to watch on the ultrasound as the catheter was threaded through my cervix…. I pretty much expected to watch as he walked the sperm down the aisle. Unrealistic? Partially. I also felt like the RE talked it up this way, because I had no preconceived notions of what this experience was going to be like. Plus, the waiting rooms are all swanked up, connected by a spiral staircase, and equipped with fireplaces, big screen TV’s, and interior decorating that makes you sort of want to smoke a cigar. Not sure why.

So in this waiting room, I was asked to remove my shorts and underwear, and drape a big sheet of medical paper towel over myself. DW and I took some funny pictures of me making some obscene gestures and hand positions towards the medical diagram of the female reproductive system. What can I say? We were in a classy kind of mood.

Our sperm, who we’ve nicknamed a name I can’t write on the world wide web, was in a vial on the counter, washed and suspended in some pink stuff, ready to party. We took some pictures of the vial. Clean pictures. I did not do dirty things to it.

A nurse came in to do the IUI, and was kind of rough with my cervix. DW says that my cervix is shy. She points down and tucks her head a bit to the side. Not to worry though, the nurse clamped her and forcefully straightened her out. Similar to when I grab our dog by the scruff as she’s about to dive face first, mouth salivating into a pile of some other dog’s shit. Graphic, but it’s the only way I can describe the pain. I clenched my jaw and fists, and did my best not to shout a mouthful of profanities in front of the strange nurse. Out of the corner of my right eye, I see DW getting up, taking a step toward the nurse. She didn’t punch her in the face like I had hoped, however. She asked if she could depress the syringe- send the boys off on their race. As lesbians, this is one of the ways that a NGP (non-gestational parent) can actively take part in the insemination process at a clinic. I must admit, I really enjoyed our IUI #1, which was done at home, with DW dressed like a caver, headlamp, gloves, focus faced and all. I don’t remember if I wrote an account of that experience. Maybe I will some day. It was so much fun, and absolutely hilarious. I literally quieffed (spelling?) out a good lot of the sperm because I was laughing so hard.

Back to IUI #2. So DW injected me with the love juice, and then the nurse told me to stay laying down for 15-20 minutes. Holy crap was that the longest 20 minutes ever! So long in fact, that we got ourselves into a bit of stuff we probably shouldn’t have. Perhaps you can put the following pieces together: some of the precious and expensive love juice dribbled out and onto the medical table; there was a microscope in the room; we found slides and cover slips in a drawer; we both have multiple degrees in science and/or medicine.

Anyways, the drive home was fun. I dropped my iPhone and closed the car door on my head while trying to climb into the already-reclined passenger seat. I buckled up and lay back with my feet on the dashboard. Again, classy.

The rest of the day was quite uneventful. I was supposed to lay down and take it easy for the rest of the day, but I felt restless and felt like tidying and cleaning the kitchen. This turned into me making a nice breakfast of bacon, eggs, and a breakfast sammy for DW. I made batches of semolina and gluten-free pastas with ground turkey pasta sauce for our lunches for today and tomorrow. I also marinated and bbq’d salmon filets and sauteed shredded bok choy. Then I stripped the guest room bed of sheets and did two loads of laundry. I also marked two class sets of labs, and cleaned a bit.

Now I’m blogging, and considering going to the grocery store at 9:30 at night.

Can you tell I’m excited?

This is gonna be a long two weeks….

Bought and Paid For

I have the flu. In fact, I have more than the flu. I have some kind of super-mutated-unrelenting-hypervirulent-knock-you-off-your-ass-for-two-weeks flu.

It made me leave our spa day this past weekend dizzy and nauseous.

It made me have to sit out a precious game of ball hockey. (I say precious because I’m so sad to have to give it up once pregnant, that I started counting down the games I might have left… This leaves me at one last game.)

It has made teaching excruciatingly painful, hot (in a bad way), and dealing with students annoying.

I can barely speak, I can barely think, I can barely conduct myself in a safe manner.


Yet…. I decide to place possibly one of the most important orders of our future baby’s life.

I bought sperm.

I filled out a form, indicated the donor number and quantity of washed vials, and paid for the sperm that will hopefully make up the other chromosomal halves of this bebe.

We picked this sperm because it was pretty and had a nice chest.

No joke.

Helps that it’s somewhat smart, athletic, comes from a family with good health, and has the same colouring as Darling Wife.

I choose to describe the sperm as it because it’s not him that going to make our baby, it’s DW and myself.

Though, I’m endlessly grateful for all of the men who continue to donate sperm so that loving people such as ourselves can build families too.