Updated Plans

So I’ve got a bunch to update you on. We had a review appointment on Wednesday with the RE, to discuss DW’s two recent miscarriages.

The RE really didn’t have much to say. I brought all of my questions, typed into notepad on my iPhone, and we went through them all. He has no answers for why DW didn’t stay pregnant. He did say that it was unusual given our excellent conditions.

The embryos or the uterus, who is the culprit?

He looked at the embryologist’s notes on our 5-day-blasts, and they are excellent quality, and all survived the thaw, which is also an indication of quality. He said that genetic or chromosomal issues are weeded out very quickly in these early phases, and that since I’m young, the quality of the eggs is unlikely to be the problem. But of course, not all eggs were meant to become live births.

He suggested two possible next steps:

1. Aggressively investigating into DW’s immune system and uterine health through more blood tests (one of which costs $600, and can only be analysed in the States), and a hysteroscopy to visualize uterine abnormalities. If her immune system is found to be overactive (essentially attacking the embryo like it is a parasite), then a combination of immunosuppressant therapy (intralipids) might happen so that she could still carry. A colleague of mine has gone through this treatment (with the same clinic), 3 times I believe, and it didn’t work. If it’s polyps/fibroids or some scar tissue, we could probably have them surgically removed (my guess).

2. I carry.

Obviously, option 2 makes more logical sense at this point, given the circumstances. However, there is also the factor of DW’s feeling physically connected to these future babies, which is the whole reason for us going down the path of IVF in the first place.

So, we decided on both paths, concurrently. We will do the investigations and see if DW maybe has some polyps/fibroids/scar tissue/uterine abnormalities or too many natural killer cells or other immune issue, and we will get me ready for an FET at the same time.

Some of the ducks are already in a row, and some of them the clinic has taken out of the rotation so that we have to put them back. It is really frustrating because I’m sure that it’s just a money grab on their part.

For example, my endocrinologist called yesterday to tell me that my thyroid levels are right on target (so no adjustment needed). Yay! She basically gave me the green light to giv’r this cycle. Also, my period just started on Thursday, so I could’ve started on the estrace today.

But instead, the clinic wanted to repeat their big ass blood screening panel to test for everything under the sun (that they had done in May 2013 and January 2014), as well as another sonohysterogram.

Yes, I bolded that. Another SONOHYSTEROGRAM. I think it’s completely unnecessary because I had one done last year, and nothing has changed. I also think it’s unnecessary because he was just up in there in January during my egg retrieval, and the main reason for it is to check the patency of the Fallopian tubes, which isn’t even involved in an FET. Plus, it’s another hundred dollar cost out of pocket for us.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll remember that the sonohysterogram was extremely painful for me. I bled substantially on the paper sheet that covers the medical table, as well as in my underpants on the drive home. They said that it shouldn’t hurt and that I could return to work that day, but despite taking Tylenol before the procedure, I ended up sitting in the car crying from my angry cervix pain and uterine cramps, wishing that DW could drive me home.

I still get nightmares about that sono.

From now on, I shall refer to it as the sononightmarogram.

Anyway, since they insist on repeating this damn sono (booked for the 20th), we can’t do the FET this cycle.

So I guess I’ll continue to play ball hockey twice a week and party like a rockstar during World Pride, at the end of the month.

Meh. I’d rather be trying to have a baby….

I See Spots

By now, you’ve probably realized that I am not much of a persuasive person. I mean, I have strong opinions about things but never succeed in getting my way because I don’t have a strong personality.

So far, in life, this has created a lot of stress for me.

Recently, this has resulted in me undergoing the sonohysterogram that I so very much was opposed to, since we, as a lesbian couple (and not an infertile couple) had no indication that it was necessary. But after haggling with a nurse who insisted that it was part of the fertility clinic’s mandatory monitoring process, I gave in. Angrily, I gave in.

So today, early in the morning, I had my feet in cold stirrups, bum at the edge of a paper-and-doggy-pee-pad-lined examination table, and endured the awkward small talk with 2 technicians because I am weak.

The whole procedure lasted a mere few minutes, but definitely involved some strong cramping during and after. In the car, I called my wife, nearly in tears because of the cramping. I admitted to her that while I’ve certainly had menstrual cramps worse than this, it was the psychological aspect of being violated and the spots of blood on the examination table that could only have come from an angry cervix.

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Say No to Sono?

I’m the type of person that says “sorry” all the time. Even when it’s not my fault. It drives my wife nuts, to which I respond with sorry again. It’s a vicious cycle which needs to stop. .. Especially if I plan to refuse a sonohysterogram next week.

The RE we saw a few weeks ago had his nurse call me and remind me to book my cycle day 3 monitoring appointment and sonohysterogram after my period starts. During our consult, he just casually referred to the procedure as a “Sono”, like it ain’t no thang. After researching a bit, I found all sorts of awful accounts of women experiencing major vicodin type pain (and prescriptions from their RE) as well as standard rounds of antibiotics to begin after the procedure. Hot damn! Did you say infection? Yeah, because I’m going to Lysol the shit outta the soil I plan to grow my little seedling in next month! Wtf!?!

Especially as lesbians with no known fertility issues I feel this is unnecessary. Remember too, that I’m a doctor as well, and am well versed in the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm.

Now, if you don’t know what a sonohysterogram is, I suggest you google it. If I am to exaggerate a bit for effect, it is like a naughty nurse clown shoves a balloon at the end of a straw through your cervix, into your uterus and inflates the balloon inside you with a bicycle pump until you nearly explode. Actually, that’s not much of an exaggeration. Darn.

Anyways, may the Goddess named Clementine grant me the strength to politely decline the not covered by OHIP, pay 150 outta pocket unnecessary procedure.

Because really, it’s nearly gardening season, and I’m trying to enrich my soil so that a little bean will grow.