Say No to Sono?

I’m the type of person that says “sorry” all the time. Even when it’s not my fault. It drives my wife nuts, to which I respond with sorry again. It’s a vicious cycle which needs to stop. .. Especially if I plan to refuse a sonohysterogram next week.

The RE we saw a few weeks ago had his nurse call me and remind me to book my cycle day 3 monitoring appointment and sonohysterogram after my period starts. During our consult, he just casually referred to the procedure as a “Sono”, like it ain’t no thang. After researching a bit, I found all sorts of awful accounts of women experiencing major vicodin type pain (and prescriptions from their RE) as well as standard rounds of antibiotics to begin after the procedure. Hot damn! Did you say infection? Yeah, because I’m going to Lysol the shit outta the soil I plan to grow my little seedling in next month! Wtf!?!

Especially as lesbians with no known fertility issues I feel this is unnecessary. Remember too, that I’m a doctor as well, and am well versed in the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm.

Now, if you don’t know what a sonohysterogram is, I suggest you google it. If I am to exaggerate a bit for effect, it is like a naughty nurse clown shoves a balloon at the end of a straw through your cervix, into your uterus and inflates the balloon inside you with a bicycle pump until you nearly explode. Actually, that’s not much of an exaggeration. Darn.

Anyways, may the Goddess named Clementine grant me the strength to politely decline the not covered by OHIP, pay 150 outta pocket unnecessary procedure.

Because really, it’s nearly gardening season, and I’m trying to enrich my soil so that a little bean will grow.