A Very Stressful Long Weekend

Ever since the afternoon of our 6-week transvaginal ultrasound, I’ve had spotting.

Thursday- faint brown spotting
Friday- more brown spotting
Saturday- some red spotting and more brown spotting
Sunday morning and afternoon- lots of brown clots
Sunday evening- faint brown spotting (much lighter)

It was torture not having internet access during these stressful times. I really have no idea what is going on, and have been freaking out.

I haven’t had any cramps though, and haven’t been filling pads or anything- just streaks on a panty liner. I think that’s a good sign.

I’m not in a great headspace right now, and am also really stressed about starting at a new school on Tuesday. It’s a vocational school, where 90% of the students have significant learning disabilities and developmental delays. I enjoy teaching and am really good with these kids, but I’ll be in a totally new role, teaching subjects that I’ve never taught before, and have no resources to go off of. I’m sure it will be fine in a few weeks when I’ve got a good grasp of the building and supports, have gotten to know the kids, and have an idea of what these courses look like.

The night before the first day of school is always sleepless though- even for very experienced teachers like DW. The last thing I need is to worry about school and the possibility of a miscarriage.

I’m really hoping that this spotting is benign, and that our little spark is still in there, thriving.

Ugh Heartburn

We’re at the cottage, so internet access is shoddy. But I have some bars on my iPhone so I thought I’d try to post.

Thank you for all of your comments, I will try to reply to you soon!

My symptoms have stayed the same, though I’ve had an significant amount of heartburn during the past two days. It’s so bad that last night I was popping TUMS like it was going out of style. All I’ve basically been eating is gluten-free bread, crackers, and rice in soup.

It is hell.

Also, I’ve been spotting faint traces of brown since the ultrasound. I’m thinking it’s because it may have irritated my cervix (remember I have a very angry cervix), or had dislodged some old blood that had accumulated at the bottom of my uterus. I’m not worried about it.

Anyway, we’ve been lazing around, watching old 80’s and 90’s videos, some on VHS. That’s the cottage selection! Plus most collections like all the 007 movies, Indiana Jones, Star Wars. Last night we watched a movie called “An Innocent Man”, made in the 80’s and starring a young Tom Selleck. We also made our way through some of Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark. Oh has film and television changed!

Other than that, we’ve been puzzlin’. Here’s a picture of DW working on a 1000-piece candy bar wrapper puzzle.

6 Week Ultrasound

I thought I was 6w2d today, but according to today’s ultrasound, I am just shy of 6 weeks.

The technician wouldn’t let DW be present for the ultrasound, which was annoying, and also wouldn’t let me take pictures. They just kept saying that there really wouldn’t be anything to see this early, which begs the question, “Why the fuck did you people bully me into having an ultrasound this early?!”. Ugh. I’m so annoyed.

Anyway, she did a transabdominal first on a full bladder (boy are those uncomfortable!), and then a transvaginal after I had emptied my bladder. I managed to snap this picture while privately getting undressed:

So basically we have a singleton, and it’s apparently too early to visualize anything except for the gestational sac itself.

I’m not gonna lie, I am a bit worried as everything that I’ve read says that we should’ve been able to visualize the yolk sac at 5 weeks, but there was none. However, all I saw was an empty sac. In their words “it’s too early for the ultrasound technician to take the appropriate measurements”.

They wanted me to repeat it next week, but I don’t want to be disappointed again, so I pushed it to two weeks. Hopefully by then I will be 8 weeks along and something should be there.

Why is this so damn stressful? I’m such an overachiever in every other aspect of my life, so having late implanting blastocysts, low HCGs, and slow to develop embryos is driving me insane.

I really hope our little spark is in there, and that in two weeks we get some good news.

Cramps

I’m 6 weeks and 1 day today.

Last night, I only managed to sustain a superficial sleep for most of the night due to some very mild cramps. It was less like pain, and more like knots. It felt like some very fleshy-armed strong woman was kneading my uterus like dough.

Today, I continue to have more of the same. No bleeding, just kneading.

Anyone else experience this during pregnancy?

(Photo from http://www.finecooking.com/item/15900/no-need-to-knead-bread)

Ahhh Symptoms

Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks along. Last night the pregnancy sickness started. We were on our way home from our ball hockey banquet when I started dry heaving in the car. I rolled down the windows and with every ounce of will power tried to focus on not puking. But all I could smell was the pungent strength of a teammate’s cologne on my clothes, the mint gum DW was chewing, and my smelly feet (I wore shoes without socks- gross, I know, but I’m so hot these days). I clutched the free water bottle that we won for coming in first place, as a backup vomit catcher.

Morning pregnancy sickness has officially begun.

In other news, for the past three days I have been struggling with the symptoms of a UTI: waking up every hour to pee, bladder feels tingly and achy, tingles to pee, etc. We finally went to visit my family doctor (who is awesome) today, and had some urinalysis done. Apparently my pee is pretty clear, though there is some blood, which is just a sign of irritation. She wrote me a prescription for Macrobid, which is safe during pregnancy, and is having the urine cultured to see what grows. If my symptoms worsen, I will take the antibiotics.

She also wrote me a prescription for diclectin, which is for morning sickness. Depending on how bad the nausea is, I may or may not begin taking it.

Our 6 week ultrasound is on Thursday. Can’t wait to share the results with you.

Back to the Gym

Living in fear is no way to live.

But since the transfer, I pretty much stopped all physical activity, aside from dog walks every other day with my lovely ladies. If you recall, exercise is pretty much my only method of stress relief, and the two-week-wait is extremely stressful, so I’ve pretty much been shit to be around. DW has been great though, letting me go at things at my own pace, pick our activities, change my mind, complain, get frustrated, then pass out for another nap and start all over again.

In the past couple of weeks we did some fun things.

We:

– went to Ripley’s Aquarium on our anniversary
– have dined at our favourite restaurants
– seen two films in theatre: Lucy and The Hundred Foot Journey
– driven into downtown on numerous occasions for gelato from our favourite chocolatier, Soma

Other than that, I’ve preferred couch lazing and watching Netflix over socializing. We’ve finished Rectify (which was amazing), and I am still making my way through The Mindy Project. Once school starts next week, I will have no time to watch anything.

However, I finally emerged from the couch potato haze, and returned to the gym two days ago. My muscles were feeling wasted and listless. They needed a pump!

With almost twenty years experience lifting weights, it was humbling to have to limit myself to a lighter workout. My TCM doctor strongly urged against me working out at all, but honestly, I was going crazy. I had to. For my health, and the health of my pregnancy.

But this is what I did:

Three giant sets of the following circuits with no rest between giant sets:

Giant Set 1 (x 3 sets):
8-10 overhand pull-ups (assisted)
10 push ups (off toes)
10 body weight squats
10 ball hamstring curls

Giant Set 2 (x 3 sets):
10-12 chin-ups with a lat pull down machine
10-12 bench press with a bar only
10 slow Bulgarian split squats
Plank
10-12 seated row

20 mins elliptical on a very low level to get lactic acid out of my legs

It felt so good. I was so energized, and sooo sore the next day and took it as a rest day.

Today, I’m back at the gym, a little less sore, but ready to go.

This is what I did:

Giant Set 1 (x 3 sets):
10-12 barbell curl
10-12 barbell military press
10-12 rope press down
10-12 rear delt fly

Giant Set 2 (x 3 sets):
10-12 overhand bicep curl
10-12 upright row
10-12 overhead tricep extension
10-12 lateral delt fly

20 minutes elliptical
20 minutes swimming and stretching in the pool

I’m so happy to be back!

Tomorrow is our competitive ball hockey team’s championship game, as well as the league’s season wrap-up banquet. Our team is defending first place, and I have to come up with an excuse for why I can’t play but will be watching instead. This is a team that we have been playing with for almost 5 years, and we love these girls. It’ll be weird for me not to play, as I usually make every single game. We’ll see how it goes!

HCG Results Are In

First off, you all are awesome! Thank you for the positive vibes and support. I really appreciate it.

So…. To recap:

10DP5DT: HCG was 33
12DP5DT: HCG was 61

I figured that we had a doubling rate of about 54 hours, which is well within the normal healthy range, and estimated that for a good result on 19DP5DT, levels should be about 500 or so.

I was wrong.

Luckily, they are much higher.

Today, at 19DP5DT, our HCG is 1799.

Holy shit guys. I am ecstatic.

I could hardly comprehend what she said next, something about how I have to stay on my meds, same dosages, etc. And that they want to book me next week for my first ultrasound.

My acupuncturist things it’s a bit unsafe to do the ultrasound so early (week 6), and suggests that we wait until the week afterwards.

Anyhow, thanks again for all of your positive vibes. Each and every one of your comments has made an impact on me. Thank you.

Stay tuned for more happy posts!

Another Beta HCG Test Today

Hi everyone, I’ve been laying low lately because not much is going on. I’m also anxious as hell and so many times, I have started irrational blog posts related to negative things, even though so far, everything has been going well.

No real symptoms except sheer exhaustion about midday, at which point I take a 1-2 hour nap. I attribute this to the progesterone supplementation though, as I know it can make your blood sugar levels drop, making you feel an energy crash. Boobies are still sore, and are BIG! When I fully inhale, I can almost hear the seams of my sports bras rip. Again, that is thanks to the progesterone. Other than that, I’ve been so thirsty every day, drinking about 3+ litres of water, and not peeing most of it out even though I’m waking up in the middle of the night to pee 1 or 2 times. Either I’m becoming a camel, or my blood volume is increasing due to this pregnancy.

Oh such is the dilemma with progesterone and estrogen supplementation. I can’t tell if the symptoms are from pregnancy or from the medication.

I have no nausea yet. But I’m only 5 weeks and 3 days, and most women start getting really queasy during week 6 or not at all. Strangely enough, I’m hoping for some morning sickness, as it would reassure me that my HCG is higher.

Today, I have to go in for another blood draw to check my HCG levels. I’m so nervous, and will feel so much better if the results are good.

Please pray and send whatever good vibes that you can for us to have a positive outcome.

I appreciate all of your support, and I hope to be less neurotic in the coming weeks.

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